When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don't take care of yourself, you can't be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. Here are some things to consider --
For me the best side effect of living 93 years is feeling good, liking who I am and loving this incredible long journey. There is no future and no past. So just 'being' is a pretty good side effect of living.