affirmative consent

"Vanilla people" are starting to act a little kinky, and that's a good thing for everyone wondering what's OK in a sexual relationship.
“It took five years for me to realize that consent is not a coin flip.”
Is this not a case of injustice collecting and is anyone who makes such a point to the author, just another online harasser? What's the exact crime? Looking at women's or men's bodies?
For some people, the idea of gaining consent for each aspect of a sexual encounter sounds painfully unsexy, but I believe this is because they're thinking about it like a checklist on a clipboard, rather than as the joy of getting to know and understand their partner on a deep and fundamental level.
How can we prevent rape, not just prosecute and punish those responsible?
There was an obvious difference in the way my rapist and I had interpreted the incident, and his response gave little indication of any remorse for the irreparable damage done that night. A disturbing thought formed: What if he doesn't know what he's done?
I believe if we can integrate these messages into our cultural narratives, we can reshape our society's sexual focus from that of negation to that of consent and mutual respect. Boys will grow up actively soliciting consensual language, and girls will feel comfortable actively providing it.
This student argues there's another point to be made about consent.
Do NOT attempt to elicit consent from a person who is drunk. Just don't. Don't. People who are drunk make bad choices. They eat at Taco Bell and get stupid tattoos. Don't ask a drunk person to make good decisions about sex.