Forced apologies are as common as forced sharing in our culture. But apologies that are insincere are also ineffective.

I was rude on the phone. I heard from my doctor's office that Medicare had my coverage screwed up. This was the first time I have used my card since turning 65. And my claim was denied. So I got on the phone with Medicare. That alone brings my blood pressure up.

As already noted, the outsized examples we've seen this election cycle makes such behavior fair game for moral lessons delivered in lectures, editorials or sermons. My only problem with such moralizing is that it might be letting one party - all of us - off the hook.

What is it with apologies? Why do some feel hollow and empty while others elicit understanding or even forgiveness? What are the specific qualities of an authentic apology?

Consider this. We all make mistakes, but there's no reason for your apology to be a mistake of its own.

I don't have a lot of revenge fantasies. It's not that I'm such a goody-two-shoes. Well, okay, I'm a little bit of a goody-two-shoes. I believe in the power of Being Nice. Which is why I don't have much in the way of revenge fantasies. What I have, though, are apology fantasies.