bareback sex

The decision to have bareback sex has never meant that we are stupid, irresponsible, or immoral. It means that we are human, and that it is tremendously challenging (and sometimes impossible) to change our sexual desires and practices.
I see the need for raw sex as a manifestation of the self-hatred many gay men have. We are emotionally stunted as men and stigmatized as homos, and it is hard to love ourselves; so instead we do things that harm ourselves.
As gay men have become more liberated--open about their sexuality and interested in exploring the extents of its expression--they have become increasingly at risk for infection.
If you make an informed decision to practice barebacking, then so be it. I can't say I will never do the same. However, short-term pleasure, a sense of belonging, and the excitement of abandoning homonormative sociosexual practices cannot be divorced from either a willful rejection of long-term health or a romanticized concept of what HIV infection leads to.
"I'm sorry, stud, but I won't bareback," was my standard reply. "Why? Are you (HIV) positive?" was Carlos's standard response. "No, I'm negative," I said back.
The fact that I have never barebacked speaks more toward my emotional flaws than some enlightened sexual ethic I possess. If I were a better gay man, I would have had a boyfriend by now who I loved enough to bareback with.