bed rest

Getting out of bed in the morning is actually a huge privilege.
It was pure hell. After seeing those two pink lines on that pregnancy test and feeling all the initial excitement and joy
You're used to having a packed schedule, going from one commitment to another. Your work, home and social calendars are full
Every day of a high-risk pregnancy feels like you're holding your breath, desperately hoping to make it to the next milestone. Hearing a heartbeat. Making it to the second trimester. Good news at your anatomy scan. Being on this roller-coaster can leave you feeling anxious and terrified every day.
You feel like it's all your fault. You feel like your body is failing. So that means you are failing. The reality is, a high-risk pregnancy can happen to anyone. At any time. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't cause this and you certainly aren't failing.
If you've been on bedrest for even one day you know it's anything but a vacation. You're terrified about what could happen to the baby and life as you know it has turned upside down.
My first four babies were perfectly healthy, textbook pregnancies and births. I guess you could say I got cocky.
Three months ago, I learned that I had serious complications with my pregnancy, and I was prescribed bed rest. When it happened, I felt lost. I decided to continue working to maintain some sanity, but wondered: how was I supposed to continue to lead my team and command their respect when I felt and looked like this?
The words echoed off of the hospital walls, closing in on me with each repetition, making me feel like a prisoner in my own body. I wanted to escape this moment, but I was immobile, paralyzed by both modality and circumstance.