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Breaking up: You could trot out the ol' "we need to talk" line and do it face-to-face -- or you could get creative and slightly creepy like the woman who wrote this breakup letter did.
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Dear Mitt: It's Not You, It's Us the People

The horse-dancing, your son threatening to beat up the president, your lies about simultaneously lowering taxes and balancing the budget -- it's all been pretty thrilling.
Floyd Elliot