I asked my husband why everyone disappointed me so much in my hour of pain and need. He made an interesting comment and observation
Are we perpetuating and reinforcing society's ideas around infertility? Are we asking to be visible when at the same time we are invisible to one another?
It astounds me that in a parallel life I could have been a mother to an 18-year-old. I am thankful that I was not forced to be her mother. These days, I am learning compassion, for the naïve young girl I was, for the baby girl who was never born and perhaps even for that tortured man.
No one fits the mold perfectly and sometimes a simple, "Thank you for being true to who you are," is needed, especially when you're surrounded by people who think you are wrong. Even if it does come with a little hatemail and a lot of arguments in the comments section.
Thirty, engaged, house, dog, plans for a baby -- isn't that the dream? Wasn't I living the life most young women are searching for? Maybe not.
Children can't be let out in the yard to play until you get up at 1:30 p.m. on Sunday because you were out late the night before. Dogs can. Cats don't even need to be let out, you can ignore them.
In my 30s, it's no longer a question of when my masterminded plans will pan out -- but whether I actually want the things I penned into my five-year plans, and if so, what I'm willing to give up to get them.
I mean, I know this date is fun, and I'm cute and bubbly, but let's not pretend that we have a future together. I don't need the heartbreak in two years from now when we wake up and you're leaving me because you want to play catch with your future son.
Choose to be mindful, conscious and attentive about one of your life's most important decisions. Tune in to both sides of your inner dialogue. Bust through the beliefs based on distortion, fear and limitation. Clarity will emerge... just stick with it.
At the age of 24 I began to ask my doctors if I could be sterilized. Year after year at my annual exam I would state my case -- each year unchanged from the previous year. At each visit my physician told me that I was too young, what if I changed my mind? But the reality was that I didn't change my mind.
People have had children to secure marriages and to save them, to bolster an identity and belong, to vouchsafe their virility, out of blind Darwinian compulsion and entirely by accident
19. You get to be the cool aunt/uncle/godparent to your friends' kids. And at the end of the day, when you're done playing
Being a woman is more than a mother. It's being the person God calls us to be bringing love into the world. I have moments of mothering, and I thank Mother God that I can fill that space from time to time.
Turning 30 didn't put my biological clock in a race with anyone else's. If I don't bring up my uterus and what I am or I am not doing with it, you shouldn't either.
I love children. They can fill a room with happiness, even on the darkest of days. But I've never felt the soul-clenching desire to become a mother.
I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry that we don't want kids yet. We'll have them one of these days, but for now, we're just enjoying our time learning to live with each other before we throw a little one into the mix.