In my law and mediation practice, I hear these things every day. People who once said "I do" are now saying "Screw you!" They may demonize their spouse and the mother or father of their children. They want justice in their divorce, and they think court is the way to get it. I'm here to say it's not.

Your stepson has been thrown into a situation that I see all too often: one parent says negative things about the other parent or stepparent, creating divided loyalties. The child is faced with an impossible dilemma: Whose side am I supposed to be on?

I am of the opinion that the more clarity and definition you have in your co-parenting plan the better. For many of you, the co-parenting plan will be put away in a drawer and rarely, if ever, looked at again. For all of you though, thinking these issues through and really taking them seriously will make a world of difference, and may even help you attain the closure you desperately want and need.