We need to acknowledge that a grief-free experience is not likely for anyone involved. We need to teach people not to be afraid of grief, and that when dealt with intentionally, grief need not own us.
Why deny adoptees their personal records and original birth certificates if it's against what most adoptees and their biological parents want? It makes no sense.
My three girls take turns being the squeaky wheel, and my focus on each girl waxes and wanes. What never wavers is my love. Whether flesh of my flesh or soul of my soul, I love each daughter as a whole.
In the moments of their adoption -- like the moment of Jenna's baby's conception -- a split was created in our children between their biology and their biography. Being open about our children's origins is an effective way to heal this split and help them integrate their identities.
Andrew Cadieux chats with Abby about how he discovered he was adopted - through Facebook.