You haven't "earned it."

I recently attended a senior-thesis violin recital at Juilliard, the prestigious arts conservatory in New York City. The talent before us was brilliant. The audience behavior around me was appalling.

Yes, I'm as excited as you are to go see (name of Legacy Act) when they play tonight. But if we can all observe a few rules of polite social behavior, I won't have to tell you what an a**hole you are in front of your equally annoying wife.