feminine gay men
I knew I had chosen a safe space in which to experience my grand initiation of wearing unmistakably women's shoes in public, but I wasn't prepared for the feeling of joy that flooded my heart.
My courage grew three sizes that day on the subway platform. I'm now less worried about other people's reactions to my trying on women's shoes or testing nude lipsticks. What does any of it really matter? It's my life. I own it.
I am all for people appreciating Michael Sam's achievements, but there is no need to denigrate femme gay men and further femmephobia to do it. Femmephobia is a serious problem inside and outside the gay community.
My dad is a good man. He's strong. He's a provider. He's a fixer of broken things, a disciplinarian, a caretaker. I respect him, and I am thankful for him, but I have always felt like I would never be the man he is. Note to self: Change your way of thinking.
Actor Sean Hemeon joins HuffPost Live to discuss starting in the show "Husbands."
Even after I accepted my sexuality, I struggled with my femininity. I spent hours in the gym, building my body in an effort to emulate the ideal of what men supposedly should look like. I even shaved my head. But the nasal voice and extra bounce in my step were inescapable.
Jolly for you that you have a deep voice, a culturally acceptable walk and all that cisgender privilege, but let's be clear that some of us do not; some of us are feminine, and we switch, and we talk with a lisp, but that does not make us stereotypical.
The gay community is not immune to the idea that femininity is second-class. We still trot out our brawniest and brusquest as our spokesmen. It astounds me that gay culture continues to perpetuate the values that have kept women and gay men oppressed.
Husbands embraces clichés, stereotypes and tropes to make a point: Most old ideas are only as meaningless or as negative as their context. Few of these notions are intrinsically detrimental, as the judgements we attach to them exist only in our minds.
Femininity is absolutely still seen as something shameful among males. In season 2 of Husbands, we dug even deeper into this idea, building our story around the idea that the "gayer" character is less publicly acceptable.