Usually it takes two to tango; sometimes we dance alone, but we are always solely responsible for our steps. Most of our relationships involve multiple people. Although there are those exceptional relationships that are solitary - we have relationships with our environment, with nature, and most importantly with ourselves.
We can't force someone to forgive. Therefore, the road to forgiveness may also involve understanding the person who has harmed us. This requires starting off on a journey that may entail a close examination of the person we need to forgive. The journey can be long and torturous.
Sometimes it takes every fiber of your being to forgive someone.
Ella was filled with angst and resented his cheapness. "Doesn't he care about the children? Doesn't he know he's hurting
Once you begin to notice your part in the dynamic, you have shifted out of the victim mode.The next step is learning to accept
It happened a while ago, years ago, really, but I'm only just now getting around to saying it out loud. I forgive you. You walked out one day, and it was the hardest thing in the world to accept, that you had moved on to another family, that you would be present for them but not for us, that they had won.
When we forgive, we are not minimizing our pain or forgetting what happened. But we are moving on, letting go of the past, and choosing a brighter, better future for ourselves.