So many dates on the calendar, so many reasons to celebrate, so many different ways. Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Kwanzaa; these are times that can be extremely difficult for many foster children.
Last Saturday, AOM held its flagship event, Raising Baby, an educational health and wellness day for pregnant and parenting
Statistically, I am supposed to be dead, in jail, or homeless. At 14, I'd been kicked out of so many foster homes that it became a game to me. I acted out because I didn't trust anyone, and I didn't expect that to change any time soon. So, how come I didn't end up as yet another statistic? ONE. CARING. ADULT.
Without a doubt, one of the hardest parts about being a foster parent for me is the emotional turmoil and trauma a child
For older kids who have experienced much loss, those losses and abandonment issues will surface at holidays, on anniversaries, and at other times when we least expect it. Marker events bring out an old sadness and it gets mixed up in our current family life, and masked sadness often surfaces as anger.
They need me to love them. For more on foster children, and foster parenting, buy Dr. John's new book, Faith and Foster Care
Parenting kids with attachment trauma feels like driving in a foreign country where the road signs are illegible, a familiar process is suddenly uncomfortable, and fellow drivers are honking, flipping you off, and shouting that you're doing it wrong -- despite your best efforts to do it correctly.
In no way, and in no fashion am I a saint, and I believe that foster parents from all over would echo that sentiment. We are not saints. We become tired, worn down, and exhausted. We have our own frustrations and disappointments. There are times when we succeed, and there are times when we experience failures.
Let's just all come together and loudly and proudly make a commitment that we will be one part of the very big village we know it takes to raise a healthy, happy child.
Being emotionally invested in the kids doesn't mean you have to be emotionally invested in a certain outcome. If you can
Tami Hoag is an internationally bestselling author of more than thirty books. Over forty million copies are in print in thirty languages. She is known for crafting intricate and intense psychological thrillers probing the darkest corners of her characters' minds.