funniest tweets

“'We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it' OK but I’m gonna worry about the bridge now"
"Anytime my husband upsets me, I just add more shampoo bottles to our shower. Currently, there’s 47."
"Trying to take a picture with your cat is like eating soup on a rollercoaster."
"I told my kids to go to bed so naturally they are performing a musical."
"My husband’s version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch."
"sorry i didnt reply my cat was laying on my chest and reminding me that life is worth living"
"For my next trick, I will spend 4 hours cooking a meal that the recipe says should only take me 30 minutes."
"My kid is shopping for a winter coat that will match his shorts and flip flops."
"Thinking about how many times my dating life has been used as a storytime to my friends’ significant others."
"I love when my husband says, 'correct me if I’m wrong,' like I would pass up that opportunity."