Funniest Tweets From Women

"No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don't want to go in the first place."
"Being an adult is saying 'I can't believe it's (x month) already' over and over and over until you die."
"Welcome to adulthood. Freezer space is now a commodity."
"Have officially reached the age where my idea of wildly indulgent luxury is having a pair of reading glasses in every room of my house."
"Not sure anything or anyone has ever disappointed me as much as that Instagram swimsuit everyone loves."
"I can’t decide what the best soccer movie is: bend it like beckham, she’s the man, or ashlyn harris’s instagram stories."
"Currently deciding if I should save up for a tattoo or a nice vacuum what a curious life phase this is."
"I didn't mean to like your selfie I was just trying to get dried salsa off my phone."
"I live in constant fear of the return of low rise denim."
"No one’s going to look at the Mueller Report until someone turns it into a musical."
"The biggest problem with eating healthy is that I don’t wanna do that."
"{extremely White Snake voice at 3am} Here I go again on my phone"
"90% of confirming plans is hoping the other person will cancel."
"Fingers crossed that everyone in Winterfell finds a way to solve all their problems using CBD."
"Going to rock bottom do you guys need anything."
"Not once in my life have I 'brought something to the table.'"
"Rest In Peace all the healthy food that expires in my fridge every week."
"There's a Backstreet Boy with a son old enough to also be a Backstreet Boy so I guess it's time I start using an eye serum."
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself and also losing WiFi"