No matter how committed you are to your significant other, you will always feel attraction to others. We can't help our feelings. We can, however, control whether or not we act on those feelings.
My last relationship was a gay, polyamorous, open, interracial threesome. (I know, very 2013.) In a time when gay couples are becoming remarkably mainstream, we were "destroying the sanctity of gay marriage," I would often joke. Some didn't find it funny.
There has been a lot of controversy over a blog post I wrote on The Huffington Post two weeks ago entitled "Are Gay Men Scared of Monogamy?" Given the response, you'd think I'd written a post called "The Gay Apocalypse Is Coming, and If You Don't Pair Off, You're Going to Die!"
HuffPost Gay Voiced editor Noah Michelson joins HuffPost Live to discuss his blog post, "Why I Never Want To Be Just Like Straight People."
What's got me so despondent (and dramatic)? A couple of recent blog posts that appeared on HuffPost Gay Voices, lamenting, worrying about or lashing out at queers (like me) who don't want to live a heteronormative life.
It seems to me that if we want our relationships and marriages to be accepted by our straight counterparts, then maybe it's time to keep a lid on what exactly it is that we do behind closed doors. Maybe it's just no one's business.
There's nothing like my first-date dinner companion telling me he hopes I can someday play with him and his partner together. I don't know what happened to first-date etiquette, but this information might have been useful before wooing me into thinking you're a man I could settle for.
Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous? Of course it is, but for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship.
By expanding our understanding of how a couple can operate together, and maybe throwing away that old saying, "two's company, but three's a crowd," maybe we can actually make ourselves happier and have longer, healthier relationships, even if they are "monogamish."