gay open relationships
There has been a lot of controversy over a blog post I wrote on The Huffington Post two weeks ago entitled "Are Gay Men Scared of Monogamy?" Given the response, you'd think I'd written a post called "The Gay Apocalypse Is Coming, and If You Don't Pair Off, You're Going to Die!"
HuffPost Gay Voiced editor Noah Michelson joins HuffPost Live to discuss his blog post, "Why I Never Want To Be Just Like Straight People."
What's got me so despondent (and dramatic)? A couple of recent blog posts that appeared on HuffPost Gay Voices, lamenting, worrying about or lashing out at queers (like me) who don't want to live a heteronormative life.
There's nothing like my first-date dinner companion telling me he hopes I can someday play with him and his partner together. I don't know what happened to first-date etiquette, but this information might have been useful before wooing me into thinking you're a man I could settle for.
Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous? Of course it is, but for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship.
By expanding our understanding of how a couple can operate together, and maybe throwing away that old saying, "two's company, but three's a crowd," maybe we can actually make ourselves happier and have longer, healthier relationships, even if they are "monogamish."
Having lived all over the country in several metropolitan cities, I have experienced and learned a lot about queer culture and diversity within our community, but nothing has shocked me more than what I learned in San Francisco. Gay men here mostly play by different rules.
Despite the perils it presents, nonmonogamy can be a source of great satisfaction. But when it comes to opening up a relationship, two men are best served by clear communication and mutually agreed-upon boundaries.