"That's what I ate, slept and breathed, and that's what kept me alive. Rehearsal and theater and acting and writing poetry, and I look back on all that now, I'm thankful that I didn't give up because I have so much to offer."
I learned that being gay is an inborn trait no different than height and hair color. After all, if it weren't, don't you think centuries of fervent efforts to rid humanity of it would have shown at least some modicum of success? Yet here we are.
"Some parents get sad and angry when their kids are gay. They have a really hard time with it." "Yeah," he said, "but why is it hard?" I struggled. "Not all mommies love their babies the way I love you."
We all know how this script is supposed to go: Gay kid gets teased and bullied. Gay kid feels demeaned and ashamed. Gay kid maybe gets beaten up. Gay kid runs off to lick his wounds and feel horrible about himself. Gay kid feels alone. But not this time. This time the gay kid, my gay kid, fought back. And the bully ran away.
Sure, by the numbers, assuming people are straight is a safe bet. Most people are. But assumptions are dangerous. This particular assumption implies to my son that there is something wrong him for being other than straight. And there's not. He should be exactly who he is.
The U.S. televangelist advised a "700 Club" viewer to find her 13-year-old stepson some male companions, as “his attraction
My son needs to see kisses like this one, kisses of celebration between two men in love. There are too few of them in front of his eyes, and he needs to be able to see more. He needs to be able to see that his future will one day include kisses between him and a boy he likes, and one day a boy he loves.
Hearing that, Jovan says, "If all you can see in me is the disgusting man that sleeps with other men, then you don't need
We told our son that he had to choose between Jesus and his sexuality. Choosing God, practically, meant living a lifetime condemned to being alone. So, just before his 18th birthday, Ryan, depressed, suicidal and disillusioned, made a new choice.
What could I say to this young man who meant so much to my kid, this young man who, by playing a television character, had helped lead my son to tell me about his orientation and, by extension, helped change the trajectory of my own life toward activism?
As our children grow, we look around and wonder, "Is this the right place for us to be? Is this where we want our children to grow up? What is the environment we've chosen teaching them?" These questions were heightened after our oldest son started identifying as gay at a young age.
If our son realizes at a later date that he isn't gay, I won't be embarrassed. No matter who he is, we want him to know that we love him. And whom he loves and is attracted to doesn't change a thing. If anything, we are setting an example to all our kids that our love really is unconditional.
Yes, at times it is different. At times it is hard, emotional and challenging. It's not something people are used to seeing, which can make them uncomfortable, so it requires extra work of me as a parent. But that doesn't mean it's bad. And he's worth it. All my kids are.
On Dec. 10 a conservative politician in the UK commented, "I think most parents would prefer their children not to be gay." As the mom of an openly gay son, that comment pisses me off, but it doesn't surprise me. It's something I have heard many times before.
I want for my son what all mothers want. I want him to grow up into a happy, healthy adult. I want him to find a career where he can thrive. I want him to find someone awesome to love who loves him right back. But all those things will be in jeopardy if Mitt Romney becomes president.