My Boston Terrier, Ma'amie, is 14.5 years old. If you know about dogs, then you know that this is actually quite old for a Boston Terrier. Up until a year ago, it was difficult to guess her age. Yes, she went prematurely grey, but she's been an athlete her whole life, and her passion for the tennis ball fueled her energy.
When you're 30, you're the star of your life, the universe revolving around you for your viewing pleasure. Life is about the next job, who you're going to love, friends or couples you click with, where you're going to eat. Flash forward a decade or two and you're knee deep in marriage and children and mortgages.
Exactly three years ago, my uncle Morris passed away in Dallas at age 103 plus a few months. He never expected to live that long -- does anyone? But he did, and was alert until his very final days. This happened just as I was giving myself an 80th birthday party in New York.
I have a solemn confession to make. In a couple months, I am turning 50. Even as I type this I'm imagining anyone affiliated with my career making a frantic dash for my computer. 'You work in television, you can't admit that! Quick, say that you're turning 8. Or that you haven't been born yet.' Please.
How do you know when you're old? None of my peers seem to know they're old. Even after they see their wrinkles and gray hair, whine about arthritic pain and celebrate another monumental birthday, all I ever hear them say is, "I'm getting old." They don't get the connection between those old age signs and actually being old.
Instead, I took to heart what she said. I am really old, to her very young eyes. And it appears she does not carry the same judgment in saying so that I do in hearing so. I've lived on this planet -- I've thrived on this planet -- for a long time.
'Too Long; Didn't Listen' Ep. 2: Talking Online Satire With Joe Garden, Sarah Pappalardo & Anna Drezen
HuffPost Comedy Editors Carol Hartsell and Katla McGlynn spend all day looking at funny things on the Internet. Now, they
The next time you're in a coffee shop, don't overlook that 70-year-old sitting in the corner reading Dickens, Hemmingway, or maybe even a copy of The Transhumanist Wager. That senior citizen with their years of wisdom and experience might soon be fair game for a love interest.
Michelle Obama turned 50 recently. And while everyone was saying, 'Oh, isn't it great, Michelle Obama is 50!' I was looking in the mirror saying, 'I'm older than the president's wife?!?' For the first time in my personal history, the first lady is younger than I am. And that's not sitting very well with me.
OK, you just bought a jar of kosher pickles and you're dying to put one on the burger you just barbecued. You should be able to just unscrew the lid easily, remove the juicy pickle from its briny bathwater and slap it on the meat. This used to be easy. Not anymore.