"87 percent of married sex starts with someone pausing 'House Hunters.'"
To avoid setting yourself up for struggles with this new and important relationship -- on both sides of the in-law equation -- let me give you some things to think about that will help you start off on the right foot with your new in-law.
I came upon my wedding picture recently, taken June 7th, 1980. My husband Randy and I were 23 years old. Thirty-five years ago we knew nothing much except we loved each other. But looking at this young bride, I give her kudos for one thing. She knew how to select a mate. To that end, I have 8 thoughts for any women out there not sure if their guy is husband material.
Couples who describe their relationships as happy, healthy or successful don't just get lucky. Partners in happy relationships share an intent to have a strong relationship and they follow through that intention with their words and actions.
How do women measure success? Is it by mothering and having a career? How do they carry out both forms of work to their satisfaction? What helps? What hurts?
There are plenty of homes in which uneven power relationships are serious problems. But a system of carefully balanced power dynamics is only a "floor" of ethical marriage and family relationships, not a "ceiling." It's a bare minimum, not the ideal. Oh, there is so much more!
When our husband were mainly career-driven, their minds were filled to capacity with how to make and keep their money for their families' security. When they slow down their minds relax; they only do what gives them pleasure and thus they have more time on their hands. They need us!
I polled over a dozen single women and here are seven things they want their married friends to know. One item on the list? They're not after your husband.
All the crap our husbands do that make us want to tear our hair out could actually be helping to balance out the crap we do that makes our kids want to tear their hair out. Our husbands are different than us.
Man's best friend is not his dog. It's the remote control. When my hubby and I are in bed watching TV he has to hold the remote. If I have it, he flaps the back of his hand on the mattress between us.
We're no longer on an even playing field. We haven't been for some time now. The ground seems slanted, the court warped,the turf tainted. Whatever sports analogy you conjure, things are far from even. And the "call" is in the eye of the beaten-down beholder.
So my prayer today is this. That I stop defining myself by my doing, and start defining myself by my being. That I stop measuring time by the clock on the wall, and start measuring it by the experiences I share with those around me. And that I stop seeing my life as "busy," and instead, see it for what it truly is. Full.
I have a wedding anniversary coming up, the one where people say couples begin to "itch." I haven't had that feeling, but if the word itch was replaced by annoyed, then I would quickly agree that yes, the old adage is true.
Note: The following story must be read aloud in your most sultry, sexy voice.