A new lucrative career path has opened up and as long as the Orange Menace doesn't get us all nuked before the end of 2017, your kids might just have a future in mistress dispelling. Oh yes, that's a thing.
This is where we are, huh? We need to preemptively warn others our marriages are sacred, so don't go winky smiley face-ing at us because our will powers are too weak for that saucy catnip.
So let's take some inventory here. Post-marriage could lead to post-capitalism, post-climate change, post-Pinterest, post-overpopulation (I know this one is grim) and post-passive aggression. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?
I'm going to give you what you've been searching for since your marriage broke up. Ready? Here goes... You are right. You're right about all of it. Every tiny thing on the miles-long mental list of the ways you were right and s/he was wrong, I agree with you.
Nobody makes a better wingman/wingwoman than a dog. And when it comes to dating, do you know where the best place is to let you dog do all the heavy lifting? The dog park!
Divorces are no picnic, believe you me, but the added stress of a divorce on top of an escalating vitamin D deficiency and a growing January specific nihilistic worldview is just about enough to unsubscribe from the outside world and decide you're living the rest of your life in a self imposed Room situation. But I'm here to tell you, don't.
Were there signs? This is the age-old question that gets asked every time someone does something absolutely incomprehensible.