Are you looking to be a happier, more productive, more successful person? Then the best advice is to spend less effort trying to locate your "authentic" self, in the manner that so many supposed self-help experts prescribe. Instead, learn to embrace the notion of the self as flexible.
Modern research on love and attraction suggests that we're not passive creatures, at the mercy of dwindling hormones or fading looks. In the same way that assuming a "power pose" builds our confidence, intentionally engaging in loving, passionate behaviors appears to spark romantic excitement.