Dotty, we often called her, sometimes lived up to her name. She had an air-headiness about her, in part because she relayed every morsel of conversation with great, dramatic import. Think "breathy."

To avoid setting yourself up for struggles with this new and important relationship -- on both sides of the in-law equation -- let me give you some things to think about that will help you start off on the right foot with your new in-law.

After teaching my yoga class this morning, I find I have several voicemails from my son, Jeremy, whose wife is rapidly approaching her due date. I've been waiting for this call, prepared to drop everything and go for the birth of their first child; my first grandchild. And now it's time.

I would like to think I am a pretty good mother-in-law. My two married sons think so. As do their wives. But I didn't get to this place easily. There aren't any books or websites that I've found that provide a fail-proof formula. I would like to say I learned how to do it the hard way.