not having children
"I sobbed for 20 minutes."
I married when I was forty. It was amazing at that age how many people asked me if we were going to have children. 'No,' I'd say, 'We're not having children.' What is amazing to me now is that I thought I was lying. Keeping a secret. Of course we would have children. Forty is still young.
The mandate that you must have children to be a "real woman" is completely false, but you are real. How could anyone ever tell you otherwise?
Let's talk for a minute about parenthood. Or, more accurately, non-parenthood. I'm talking here about a woman's right to choose. Not her right to choose to stay pregnant, but her right to choose to never get pregnant at all.
It's a finding that researchers say African-American women want to consider especially, since they experience disproportionately
Are parents who have large families because they believe it is a divine commandment or because they take pride in their family heritage any less capable of creating "life-enhancing relationships" with their children than, say, educated professionals who wait until there are financially stable?
Not long after I got married, I started getting asked The Question. Those of you who have encountered this question in its many forms know that one element is always the same, no matter how it's posed. We are always asked "when," not "if."