people pleaser

Being out of integrity has pretty serious consequences for our happiness, and for our relationships. Here's what happens when we aren't being authentic.
Each one of us comes here with a purpose -- a divine purpose to shine our light in the world. To be all that we are meant to be and live a purpose driven, love-centered life. It starts with accepting and loving all that you innately are by sharing your genuine self with the world no matter what others think.
If there is one phrase that really bothers me no end, it is the words "What will people think." I heard those words a lot growing up and even as a teenager it didn't sound right or fair that everything I did depended on what people would think.
Growing up in the 1960s, the discipline my parents meted out was cerebral rather than physical. If I became too demanding or too agitated, either my mother or my father would admonish me, mid-tantrum, using a quietly powerful string of words: 'Stop being so selfish,' they would say.
What people pleasers should realize is that they face serious risks. They overcommit their time which creates emotional anxiety. People pleasers feel they have not been true to their feelings and then they become angry with themselves which creates internal stress.
You've probably suspected for a while that you're a People Pleaser. Every time you go out with that friend you no longer really want to keep in touch with. Or every time you agree to babysit your cousin's dog (even though you're not much of a fur-lover yourself). Or whatever this scenario involves for you.
When you truly love your life, you can't help but be happier and experience a greater sense of fulfillment, meaning, and purpose. Polish-born American classical pianist, Arthur Rubinstein was right when he said, "I have found that if you love life, life will love you back."
So what can us people pleasers do about this, you ask? Well, there are a few things...
We teach our kids to share, especially with children who may have less than they do. We teach our kids to cooperate and compromise, especially if they have a tendency to bully for their own way.
Confidence gives you a reason to be more comfortable in your own skin, and to do the things that are best for you. And the better you get, the more you have to give.
I unknowingly gave from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem in an attempt to bolster my feelings about myself.
Being polite doesn't begin and end with saying please, thank you, and you're welcome. It involves a comprehensive acknowledgement
When you're around your positive friend you connect and relate to him or her. When you're around the miserable boss, you're tense because you're picking up on his tension, maybe even trying to understand him, and it doesn't make you feel good.
Do not fear the NO. It may seem like a powerfully intimidating two letter word. But for such a tiny word, NO is profoundly liberating. When you decide, "This does not warrant my immediate attention, or this is counterproductive we're not doing this" you embrace your intuition.
I'm the one that jumps first and freaks later. But speaking my mind? Finally fessing up to all that was wrong in my life, being a voice for those who hadn't, wouldn't or couldn't? Now that was terrifying.
I don't want to stop pleasing people -- I don't want to stop being a good person and showing all the love I have to give. But I am learning to be responsible for my own happiness first, and everyone else, second.
People pleasers are willing to do anything for the company, anything to make someone happy, and anything to help anyone in need. But people like this should not be exploited. And while kindness is a fine quality, it should not come at the expense of one's needs and personal happiness.