perfect mom

In simpler times, you could call up your BFF from the OB's office after your ultrasound and tell her the gender of your baby. Now, people can only learn the gender when you release a giant box of pink or blue balloons that float up to heaven and later deflate to choke a baby seal.
Armed with the skills I accrued during my 10 years of working in the corporate world as an assistant to various financial executives and all of the parenting books one person could read, I set out to be my ideal of the modern, educated stay-at-home-mom.
I am proud to say that I am the perfect mother. I have a perfect husband who is likewise, a perfect father. We have a perfect marriage. So naturally, we have perfect children and a perfect family. Before you pass a quick judgement on me, let me explain further.
This Sunday, I lowered expectations for mothers everywhere. While many of us try to live up to the hype, I did us all a favor and lowered the bar.
There is so much competition to be "the best." Where did all of this competition come from? I just have to be honest and say I'm never going to be the World's Best Parent. I've got some bad news for you too...it's probably not going to be you, either.
I step out in front of the full-length mirror and lather my entire body in cocoa butter lotion, staring at the unrecognizable shape in front of me. I find three small stretch marks underneath my belly button and feel guilty for even noticing.
I have more junk drawers than the normal person and plan on dying with at least two active junk drawers.
Motherhood is simply real. Real with real moms who lose their patience, who want to throw in the towel. It's full of moms who have to work who'd rather stay home. Or moms who stay home who'd rather work. Or moms who are simply tired with the every-day-the-same routine.
I get it. No mom is perfect. We shouldn't judge. We don't know what any mom is up against until we walk in her shoes. But that doesn't make us any less super.
I secretly want to be beautiful and capable in their eyes, loving and gentle and brave. Perfect. The good queen from a fairytale -- when in reality I am sarcastic, impatient, fearful, weak. Not the evil queen, exactly, but flawed and unlovely and all too human.
I want to be a mom who doesn't feel inadequate. Who doesn't look at her friends (and strangers) and say: Wow, they are great moms, why aren't I like them? But instead looks at them and says: Wow, they are great moms and so am I.
Why do we lie to each other? And where do the expectations that perpetuate these lies come from? Mothers today do have more choices, but they also face expectations that would make June Cleaver give up and drink.
Many prospective parents make a vow to be the perfect mom or dad, that is until they have kids and reality sets in. Carrie Goldman joins Alicia to discuss.
Before I had kids, I possessed many ideas about what kind of parent I would be. Below are ten of those assumptions -- and the reality that followed, post-kids.