When I was in college, I heard John Logan read "Poem, Slow to Come, on the Death of Cummings," an elegy that recounts Logan's grief over the death of his mentor, E. E. Cummings. In the poem, in verses of great musicality, Logan works through his sadness by remembering moments he shared with Cummings, by celebrating his mentor's profound influence as an artist and teacher.
Acknowledging the dualism between body and symbol in an awareness of death motivates us to live life to its fullest and to heal the world.
In summary, the passion and persistence of grit motivates and carries us over rough seas like a well-made surfboard. We can think of an absence of effort like a crack in our surfboard that needs repair.
We can wake ourselves up by increasing our oxygen level by breathing deeply. Or conversely, we can put ourselves to sleep with a kind of meditation of shallow breathing, and repeating silently the words to the rhythmic "in" and "out" like a mantra.
We can fool ourselves out of our need or desperation and develop a fantasy about our man that seems, and feels true, but is not actually realizing. We may gloss over what we hope our partner can be, rather than what he actually is. We can even fall in love with his potential.