saying sorry

Apologizing is a modern plague, and I'd be willing to bet (though I have zero scientific research to back this up) that many women utter "I'm sorry" more on a given day than "Thank you" and "You're welcome" combined. I am a woman who is sometimes right, sometimes wrong but somehow always sorry.
In all seriousness, hearing my son repeat me -- seeing myself reflected in him and his foul, remorseful mouth -- made me think about what I'm communicating and what I'm not when I constantly say, "I'm sorry."
I have been keeping mental note of how often I utter these meaningless apologies, and it's pitiful.
In all of my studies surrounding parenting, there is one reoccurring variable that continues to support healthy child-parent relationships, and that is making the effort to genuinely connect with kids.
What happened to saying no and not following up with an explanation? What happened to just saying, "I don't feel like it"?
For me, and many other women, apologizing, whether it's warranted or not, has become a constant, chronic state of mind. Saying "I'm sorry" so often gives power away. It's prostrating, docile, negating.
It dawned on me, on this Tuesday, that we're both still growing up. That we never stop growing up, not really, whether we're 7, 11, 36, 39, or any number before, in between, or after.
I have noticed how often I -- and my female friends -- apologize for things that are out of our control. This, of course, is different than saying, "I am sorry for being late," or "I'm sorry I picked a fight last night because I was really hungry and you were taking forever to figure out our plans."
I'm always going to be scared; of failure, of disappointment, of not being good enough. But I'm done pretending that I won't feel pain if I'm careful enough, or that I can prevent the pain of others by just wishing hard enough. Saying I'm sorry is a verbal tightrope act, and it's one that I'm done performing.
Existing in a space is not a privilege -- it is a right. Treat it as such, and have the courage to stop apologizing for it.
In the end, your wellness is crucial to living an optimal life -- and because of that, you're going to have to make your
So we've talked a lot about when to use them. I don't want them to be those pathetic, apologizing women, and I've corrected
When you feel like all that's being accomplished is one person trying to yell louder than the other, walk away -- hang up the phone -- and sign off Gchat for a few minutes.
An increasing drumbeat of data is suggesting that women summon the courage to lean in, only to be knocked back. Meanwhile, a generation of girls is still getting the message that confident self-expression is the answer.
This isn't about not holding myself accountable for my actions; it's about no longer reflexively blurting out an apology I don't really owe. It's about changing my default setting from unnecessary guilt.
By noticing how difficult it is for you to say something different than "sorry," you'll have taken a small step toward more personal freedom and individual expression.
Call me a wuss, but I can't sleep at night if I think I've hurt someone's feelings. I will stay up until I've formulated the perfect apology. Sometimes the person to whom I apologize has no idea what I'm talking about.
Ah, regret. The forehead-slap of hindsight, the woeful fuel of country ballads, the self-recrimination I feel for eating
One of my New Year's resolutions is to stop saying a "sorry" that's empty, apologize fully when it's appropriate and to do my part to shift our culture of meaningless or non-existent apologies. Anyone else up for that?