Desiring to improve a relationship with ourselves is very similar to bettering a relationship with another person. It would be meaningless to simply begin uttering positive statements about one another without addressing where it is that the relationship has been breaking down.

We may also use self-loathing thoughts as a way to protect ourselves against disappointment. For example, if you and a coworker are competing for the same promotion, you might tell yourself that she'll get it, just so you won't be as disappointed if she does.

I'm not ready for Sienna to have her mom's sailor mouth, but eventually, when she's a teen, I don't want her to be afraid of speaking the language of her classmates and once she reaches adulthood, I hope to be ready for her to speak such words in my presence as part of normal conversation because the reality is that cursing is ordinary and sometimes, often even, acts as a release for pent up stress.