"There were too many strippers to count," the troubled ex-NBA star and Kardashian spouse wrote in his new book acknowledging his sex addiction.
Surviving repeated revelations of chronic infidelity is gut-wrenching and humiliating. Yet all too often the betrayed partner is blamed for the other person's bad behavior. Here are five things no one should ever say to Huma Abedin--or any partner going through a similar ordeal.
But time and again our incredible make-up sex brainwashed me into thinking he had to be THE ONE! 1. Oxytocin Literally. The
A seemingly small and barely noticed organizational change in DSM-5 disguises what is really a giant conceptual leap -- one that may eventually cause large and harmful unintended consequences.
What I mostly find in my practice with heterosexual couples is that it is not the porn itself that is the problem, rather the reaction to it by both the partner who views porn, and/or the spouse.
In this day and age we live our lives online. And of course this naturally extends to our romantic lives whether that be dating, married or in a committed relationship. This has happened so quickly that we haven't necessarily taken the precautions to protect ourselves. And because we live our lives online, it is only natural that our romantic encounters, relationships and prospects also have an online existence.
I am about to publish a revision of my first book. It's been 13 years since the first edition of 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives was published with Alyson Books. That doesn't seem like a long time, but a lot has happened.
So there must be more to addiction than just pleasure. Certainly pleasure opens the doorway to addiction, but it doesn't exactly push people through and then lock the door behind them. So what does drive certain people toward addictive substances and behaviors over and over, even when their lives are disintegrating as a result?
Today, I am eternally grateful to the greatest love of my life thus far. He offered me compassion and acceptance when doing so caused him so much harm and disapproval from his friends. Because of him, I've evolved from being a PrEP-skeptic to an incredibly vocal advocate for this revolutionary drug.
The longer I was in the field of sex addiction treatment the more I found both the label and many of the interventions antiquated, limiting and sometimes even harmful--especially when working with gay and bisexual men.
There's a reason that self-help programs for sex and love addiction are some of the fastest growing in the country, and that in-patient recovery facilities are springing up all over.
The words sex addiction get thrown around a lot when it comes to cheating, especially with all eyes on the recent Ashley Madison hack. Society is still trying to understand the difference between sex addiction, an illness, which inspires a certain amount of compassion, and the moral character defect of dishonesty, which tends to inspire condemnation.
The root of the problem was that I did not want to be in a male body; I never had. Anonymous sex provided an avenue for assuming the role in which I was comfortable, while covering up the longings I felt inside, if only for as long as I acted out.
The goal is for the addict is to learn to securely attach to healthy partners and experience the joy of intimacy, which once tasted, can be so powerful it incinerates all illusions that sexual acting out can ever fulfill the deep inner longing for connection that all humans have in common.
I encourage everyone to embrace who you are. We don't need to feel guilt or shame from our failures, we need to embrace them, share them and move on from them. Celebrate the good stuff and don't be afraid to share your struggles. You will be amazed at the doors it opens and the support it brings.