"DisneyLAnd is in Los Angeles and DisneywORld is in Orlando."
"Leap day makes February rent feel like marginally less of a scam."
"Erasers slowly sacrifice their lives for our mistakes."
"You never hear Shaq O'Neal. It's either Shaquille O'Neal or Shaq, but never Shaq O'Neal."
"If 'Star Trek'-like transporter technology were invented, the airline industry would spend billions to discredit it as unsafe and scary."
"You never notice how much your head weighs until you’re resting it on your sleeping dog."
"It is highly probable that even Rick Astley has been 'Rick Rolled.'"
“You don’t hear much about the original Zealand.”
“That fork at a restaurant has been in a thousand other mouths."
"If Eminen’s mom wanted to she could probably make a good amount of money selling her own spaghetti sauce."