She has stayed with us often, including one summer when she did an intensive English course, all the while asking me questions
While we were having a graduation party for my daughter at our house, I had a "guest" say right to my partner that my children were not his children. Right to his face; right in my house. "Those aren't your kids!" Bam.
The relationship between stepparent and stepchild will take years to develop and forcing it may actually delay things, or prevent it from ever happening, as negative feelings and resentments build.
Step mothers have the worst reputations ever. Even our fairytale stories are wrapped up in the "evil step-mother" prototype. We are the women who are portrayed as coming in and taking over the lives of children who are not ours and we are viewed as the women who steal the dad away.
One of the hardest jobs to take on is becoming a step-parent. The job becomes even more difficult if this is your first foray into parenthood. If you've never had the responsibility of being a mom or dad, the prospect of becoming one as a step-parent can be a frightening one.
It eventually came to me the beauty of the titles Julian was given at birth. Julian is actually "our" child; he is our family's child that created the force to celebrate the time we get to all be together, even if it is only "half" the time.
I'd always had an easy and cordial relationship with Tristan's mom, Lin. But when I got sick, this woman stepped up in the most extraordinary way.
If there is one thing I've learned since becoming a stepparent, it's that people love to give you advice. Most of the time, these people are not stepparents themselves.
Today, for millions of women who are reaching that stage of life, is about more than just vanity. It raises other complicated feelings less common among women from previous generations. For better or for worse, grandmas are just not what they used to be.
When I was younger, divorce was something you whispered about, like cancer. It came with a certain stigma and a mysterious other-worldliness.