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turning 50
"I’d like to say that I am embracing this milestone birthday with boundless grace and gratitude. But honestly? I’m dragging my heels more than a little bit."
I've still got it, right? That's what I quietly told myself as I was out having dinner with friends one night. Since it was Friday, and I was taking Saturday off, I could stay out as late as I wanted. But secretly -- I was ready to head home by 9 p.m. and curl up with Netflix.
The day I became vested in the Teachers Retirement System of Texas, I retired. I was 51, and had taught school for 29 years. Sure, I was young for a retiree, but aging school teachers are measured with a multiplier more in terms of 'dog years' than regular years.
Turning 40 10 years ago wasn't so bad -- I realized I could finally stop explaining my behaviors and choices to others. Turning 50 was a tad different, not just because it's half of a century, but because there have been points in my life where reaching 50 might not have been possible.
WHAT'S HAPPENING
WHAT'S HAPPENING
One of the best presents I've ever received was something I gave to myself. It was three years ago, and for my 50th birthday, when I gave myself permission to try something outside of my comfort zone.
I still feel pain, I get mad, I suffer setbacks and think of tweaking this or that when I look in the mirror but overall I've become my own cheerleader and because of that more positive things seem to be happening around me.
In less than a week, I'll be dipping my toes in the big 5-0. But it's not the toe-dipping that rattles my nerves. As all mid-lifers know, it starts with a little 'testing of the water' and the next thing we know we're half-way through a decade and beyond!
I used to run past construction sites in NYC, as the workmen whistled and shouted out a list of catcalls that went from "Rambette ... to "Beat me up, baby!" I suppose this was their reaction to my having embraced the women's bodybuilding craze of the 1980s.
