Call her a "Bridesmaidzilla."
The wedding guest should consider herself much-loved and fortunate to have gotten the invitation to stay at the wedding venue, and to accept it and enjoy it. While she certainly doesn't want to take advantage of a good friend, it would be very rude to insist on paying for her room at their daughter's wedding at this point, especially since she's already offered, and they've already declined.
It's the bride's privilege to ask her wedding party to dress a certain way for her wedding. It's tradition. She can tell them what jewelry and shoes to wear, too. She can even ask everybody to wear their hair up, or down, if she's super picky. But she absolutely, positively CANNOT ask anybody in her wedding party to alter their physical characteristics in any way.
On one hand, it's a great honor and will create wonderful memories. On the other hand, you may need to budget some extra money for the unexpected expenses of this commitment.
First thing to do here is to be a good friend and talk to her about it, because you don't want to carry bitterness into your wedding day. Secondly, tell her you'll understand if she can't be as involved and you hope she understands the same for you.
But #RealTalk, it's expensive either way.
Because all of your best friends should be there.
They got down to some Beyoncé jams too.
Don't feel obligated to have everyone you've ever known throughout your life in your wedding. Take some time and think about the women (or men) that are there for you when you need them the most.
If you're a bride or a groom and searching for a wedding planner, here are a list of things that a planner probably won't be able to help you out with. And, if you are in a wedding party, or going to a wedding where a planner will be there, you should read this list too. Trust me.