widowhood

"I was clinging tightly to the life I had before. I wanted ― and thought I needed ― everything to stay the same, because if it did, then Simon wouldn’t be dead."
In the first year of my grief, I was pretty much running on numb. I get that this second year will be a tough haul. My latest funk was triggered in a doctor's office when I was filling out paperwork.
I recently discovered the teachings of Victor Frankl, a trained psychiatrist and neurologist, who spent three years in four Nazi concentration camps, an experience that helped him develop Logotherapy.
When Peter died, I had to face the practical aspects of living alone. I had to change light bulbs, hang pictures and open jars by myself. So I devised a list of key items for widows to keep on hand to make their lives easier.
Saudade is a Portuguese expression that is almost untranslatable. The best way to describe it is: the presence of absence. It is a longing for someone or something that you remember fondly but know you can never experience again.
At only 34 years of age, I have endured more tragedy in my short life than most do in a lifetime.