Funniest Tweets From Women

"Everyone compliments the jumpsuit when you wear it out — but when you get to the bathroom it’s just you and your choices"
"Free iced coffee today at Dunkin if you let them swipe your credit card !!!!"
"The four seasons are depression, allergies, tomatoes and spooky"
"sorry i was weird last night. it was to move the plot forward"
"I’ve been described as 'introverted' by dozens of men I didn’t want to talk to."
"The problem with Netflix recommendations is they assume I 'liked' a show just because I watched 13 hours of it."
"Did it hurt? When I told you to google it and I was right"
"Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late."
"u should be able to order a chocolate chip cookie medium rare"
"I don’t meditate, but I do sometimes leave my phone in the other room when I’m watching TV, so"