Look Within: A Mindfulness Shift
You sit quietly in the dark room with your eyes closed. Your foot itches, so you scratch it, which reminds you that you need to buy new running shoes. Maybe you should go for a run after this? You catch yourself - stop the thoughts, repress them. You will your mind to blankness again. Damn, thinking about nothing is hard. Soon you're thinking about thinking about nothing - does that count? This is exhausting.
You try counting. You heard somewhere that's the same as meditating. Six hundred and five ... six hundred and six...DING! The mindfulness app on your phone pings that your time is done. Meditation accomplished! You barely remember to turn the alert off because you're already busy looking at your email.
For many people, this is what it means to have a mindfulness practice. Snatching five minutes here and there, trying to reclaim that inner connection. That's not bad - any effort towards mindful living is worthy. But, it is time for a profound shift in how we view mindfulness, a revolution that will bring us awareness and peace in our hectic, technology-centric lives. Here is what we are missing: at its core, mindfulness isn't about the status quo of units of practice it's about falling in love with being alive.
Consider this experience instead: you are sitting with your closest friends by a campfire. Your nose takes in the strong smell of smoke. The clear, twinkling night sky above you, dotted with stars. The air is crisp but clean as you pull it into your lungs. Your friends are laughing. Sticky, sweet marshmallow is stuck on your fingers, a little crisp from leaving it in the fire too long. Every one of your senses is lit up to delight in being part of this moment.
We feel the most vibrant and alive when we relish the experience of living in a body. Mindfulness is designed to do just that. But, reestablishing a connection with your body by trying to shut off your brain is a little counterintuitive. It's also too hard for most people. It's so uncomfortable that it doesn't inspire people to come back for more. If this is the path we choose, we are left with a practice that doesn't bring us more energy, attention, or joy in being alive.
The key is to start with your body. Sitting by that campfire you experienced all the wondrous ways your senses bring you back to yourself. This shouldn't be a luxury saved for vacations and retreats. You can have the same experience in your frenzied, hectic daily life by prioritizing sensuality practices to cultivate what I call active mindfulness.
I've written about this before, suggesting taking a long walk in the sunshine or drinking your favorite wine out of beautiful glasses. Finding small rituals and moments that bring us away from anxiety and put our focus on enjoying what is right in front of us. Sadly, most of us are so disconnected from our bodies and sensory abilities that it isn't enough to just go for a walk and call ourselves fixed. Our minds are in one place and our bodies are in another. We have to start at the ground level. We have to relearn how to isolate our sensory perceptions and integrate that ability into our daily life.
In sports, the first thing you learn how to do is isolate your sensory perceptions. The only way to succeed is to practice being "in the moment." If you are learning how to play tennis, first you learn how to keep your eye on the ball. Next, you turn your shoulders, bend your knees, move your feet. Maybe you notice the tightness in your fingers as you grip your racket. You learn to listen to the rhythm of the ball as it is smacked by one racket, hits pavement, and then connects with your racket. You put together those sensory experiences to ultimately find 'flow' and aha, your mind is peaceful.
If you start struggling with your performance, you go right back to the fundamentals. You lower your stance, relaxed but strong, racket up and ready. Staring closely at that yellow fuzz, you breathe your way to calmness. You even practice the motion of the swing without a ball. You learn everything you need from your body.
You can apply the same concept in your daily life. For example, as you're sitting here reading this right now, notice your breath. Inhale one big gulp of amazing oxygen. Hold it. Let it out. Tighten the muscles around your lungs. Now relax them. See how that feels. When was the last time that you noticed the pace of your breathing? Don't measure it. Don't count it. Don't take a picture of yourself breathing and put it on Twitter. Just notice it and see how that feels. Present, aware, appreciative humans make better humans. I don't believe we should run away from our hectic lives and have campfires everyday, but I do believe we need to start mastering what is going on inside ourselves. So here is my challenge to you fall in love with every aspect of being human. This shift in how you view mindfulness -- loving being alive rather than practicing human experiences -- is enough to cause a profound change in yourself, the kind of change worth bringing to the world.
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