The Classified Ad

Hey, Sam,

The search goes on. What do you think about this?

CFC SEEKS ELECTION REPORTER FOR POLICY AND PLATFORM INFORMATION. CFC IS BULLCRAP INTOLERANT, SO INFOTAINMENT REPORTERS NEED NOT APPLY.

Ya think that’ll work?

Yours,

Roger

Roger,

What the hell does “CFC” mean?

Sam

Sam,

Completely Frustrated Citizen, dummy!

Roger,

All right, but I see a few problems – you’re not going to get answers by stating your medical condition up front – plus, you’ve just eliminated 99.99 percent of all reporters with the “infotainment” thing.  And the ‘completely frustrated citizen’ is too dang needy sounding.   Try again , buddy.

Sam

Sam,

How about:

CITIZEN SEEKS ELECTION REPORTER FOR POLICY AND PLATFORM INFORMATION. MEDICAL CONDITION WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER; BULLCRAP INTOLERANCE IS RARE AND DOES NOT NEGATIVELY IMPACT THE AFFLICTED.  INFOTAINMENT REPORTERS NEED NOT APPLY.

Better?

Roger

Roger,

I think you’re missing my point, sport.  Don’t say anything about bullcrap intolerance.  Just leave it out. The infotainment mention’s gotta go, too. Good job on the CFC part, but ask yourself this: Do you want to find a reporter, or not?

Sam

Sam,

How ‘bout this?:

CITIZEN SEEKS ELECTION REPORTER FOR POLICY AND PLATFORM INFORMATION. MUST BE ABLE TO REPORT FACTS AND AVOID SENSATIONALISM.

Roger

Roger,

That’s less worse instead of more better. You have to live in the present, friend. Factual reporting about policy and platform is a thing of the past, and since Sanders dropped out, there aren’t any candidates talking about that stuff anyway.  Condense it, already.

Sam

Sam,

CITIZEN SEEKS ELECTION REPORTER FOR ELECTION LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH AND REAL FACTUAL INFORMATION INFOTAINMENT.

Aw heck, Sam – I give up.

Roger

Roger,

Great!  You gotta learn to go with the flow, sport.  Just watch the news and vote for one of ‘em based on hair style.  Everybody else is.

Glad I could help!

Sam

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