Millennials Misunderstood: The Truth About My Generation | HuffPost

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There is a lot of coverage these days about the problem with Millennials. If you look, you'll find us frequently labelled as "idealistic", "narcissistic" and "entitled" in popular media. From the Time Magazine cover story on May 20, 2013 to the Bloomberg ad blaming the Millennials for the Recession, I couldn't disagree more. I am proud of my generation of changemakers born between 1980 and 1995.

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There is a lot of coverage these days about the problem with Millennials. If you look, you'll find us frequently labelled as "idealistic", "narcissistic" and "entitled" in popular media. From the Time Magazine cover story on May 20, 2013 to the Bloomberg ad blaming the Millennials for the Recession, I couldn't disagree more. I am proud of my generation of changemakers born between 1980 and 1995. And while the endless selfies and high rate of youth unemployment might suggest that we are the problem, there is nothing wrong with us.

The problem as I see it is not with Millennials, it's in expecting us to pursue an outdated, one-size-fits-all approach to the North American dream. There will be disappointment if we are expected to fit our square peg selves into that round hole. The world has changed. We've been told to get a good education, get a good job, get married, buy a home, have babies, raise kids, collect your pension, and then you've earned the right to live.

We inherited this dream map from our parents, from our school system and from portrayals in the media. This may have suited our parents' generation. However, I would assert that judging by divorce rates and the decline in pension security that it didn't fit them all that well either. Alas, it is to this that we say, "no thank you" and we are misunderstood for it.

Let me be clear. What we want is a modified North American Dream, N.A.D. 2.0. you might call it. We want to be self-sufficient and financially independent from our parents. We value our freedom, we value family and community and we value a lifetime of contribution. And yes we can value all that and still enjoy taking selfies at every turn. We are redefining how we achieve the dream, in what order, and what we do along the way.

I have my own evidence that following the prescribed dream does not guarantee fulfillment, happiness and optimal health. I studied my ass off to get into a good undergraduate program, and worked full time at a major Financial Institution to graduate debt-free. Four years later, I earned a full scholarship to complete my two-year M.A. degree during which time I also worked full-time as a Policy Advisor in the Ministry of Finance. On top of that I was involved in extracurricular projects in Montenegro, Hungary and Kosovo, unpaid. Successful right? Not necessarily. By the time I completed my Masters, I was exhausted, burnt out and disillusioned with where this would lead me. Yet, I ignored my disillusionment trusting that it couldn't be so bad if millions of others were following this road too.

I bought my first condo with my then boyfriend and was hired as a full-time Market Research Associate. I dragged my heels doing that for two years before accepting that I wanted more from life then a five figure job, a condo, and two degrees. I wanted less stuff and less titles, and more freedom and social purpose in how I spent my life.

Many called me entitled, impatient and ungrateful when I sold my condo, ended my relationship and quit my job. I disagreed and still do. I believe I was misunderstood. I worked damn hard to get to where I was and I did so trusting the conventional road to the North American Dream. While I did that, I ignored my deep-seeded desire to chart my own course toward my dreams. I was raised to know my worth and to believe that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. That's when I chose to pivot.

Fast-forward five years. I turn 29 this year, met and married the man of my dreams, I am a proud entrepreneur of my second company Wedge15 Inc., and my first book BYOB The Unapologetic Guide to Being Your Own Boss launched this September. I'm free, more fulfilled than ever and self-sufficient. I don't own a condo or car now, but so what?

Here's my recommendation for the so-called Millennial problem: go do what you love and get paid for it. And when you do, be unapologetic about it. Look inside and get clear on what success and happiness looks like to you. Then go pursue that however you choose to.

If you're still exploring what you love, start somewhere. Just don't stand still. Seek jobs, internships, or a startup where you can begin to build experiences. Start a business like I did. Learn hard, explore your options and fail fast. You will discover what you're here to do. And soon Millennials, the misunderstanding will grow into understanding.

Also on HuffPost

10 Money Mistakes Young People Make -- And 5 Things They Get Right

10 Money Mistakes Young People Make(01 of17)

Generation Y gets a bit of a bad reputation for not being able to handle their finances, but it may be a reputation that is deserved. Here are 10 things that millennials are doing wrong with their money and how they could do better. (credit:Shutterstock)

1: Overconfidence(02 of17)

A survey from the Canadian Institute of Chartered Accountants (CICA) shows that many young people think they are super savvy when it comes to their money. CICA spokesperson Nicholas Cheung says that view may not be justified. “A lot of them say that they’re confident in their abilities to budget or manage their spending, but many of them don’t even have a budget or don’t keep track of their spending,” he said.Instead, realize your limits and recognize that there are many things that you don’t know, and that’ll send you on the path of learning. So the next time someone comes up to you and asks, “What’s a dividend payment?” or “How do banks calculate interest rates?” you’ll have an answer to give them. (credit:Alamy)

2: Saving short-term but not long-term(03 of17)

Millennials are bad at the latter. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. A study by Visa Business Insights in August showed millennials becoming the fastest growing demographic in luxury spending. We’re snatching up those high-fashion products, travelling to far flung places and eating out on the regular, but what we’re not doing is saving our money, and that, says Tom Hamza, president of the Investor Education Fund, is a mistake.“Managing your financial situation is a lot like losing weight,” Hamza said. “It’s really easy to eat more and indulge yourself, just as it’s easy to put on more debt. But the thing is, trying to take control of the situation takes a lot of discipline.” (credit:Shutterstock)

3: Being clueless about your family(04 of17)

Do you have any idea about the state of your parents’ finances? Apparently, neither do a lot of other people. The first step to knowing how to manage your money is to know about the money models around you, and who is closer than your parents? Talk to your family and learn their mistakes and their successes – they do have useful things to teach you, really! Unfortunately, they are just not very good at getting all that knowledge they have to you. CICA’s survey found that two-thirds of parents felt they were teaching badly and wanted to be able to teach better.CICA’s Nicholas Cheung says that “[t]hose parents who are most successful at teaching their kids about financial management skills are the ones who talk to their teenagers about the family’s financial situation and how they manage their own money.” So it may be up to Generation Y to do a little bit of the legwork and actively try to understand the family’s finances. (credit:Shutterstock)

4: Too much plastic, not enough paper(05 of17)

Credit and debit cards are so ingrained in our financial interactions that sometimes we forget about ever carrying cash at all. Well, don’t, says Teacher Man, the pseudonym of a Manitoba high school teacher who writes on the popular finance blog, youngandthrifty.ca. Using cards to pay for all your purchases makes it that much easier to spend, and much easier for you to lose track of exactly how much money is coming out of your account. Cash, on the other hand, will always give you a bad wakeup call when you open up your wallet to find it empty. So if you realize that you really need to get serious, hide those cards somewhere you can’t reach them. (credit:Associated Press)

5: Not paying down debt when we can(06 of17)

It can sometimes be easier to reward ourselves with a venti Starbucks drink after a long day’s work or to splurge on that new must-have item. But paying down your debt with whatever money you have is one of the only ways you can ensure a solid financial future.“We’re a generation that continues to accumulate debt without paying it down,” said Lesley Scorgie, millennial author of Rich by Thirty. “I think this generation has become a little too comfortable with carrying debt, whereas the previous generation, people were very interested in paying it down as soon as possible.” Go without the drink and choose to be debt-free instead – you’ll thank yourself in the future. (credit:Getty Images)

6: Not looking at the cost-benefit of degrees(07 of17)

Many would-be students, says finance blogger Teacher Man, aren’t looking at what the job market is like and how high the post-graduation salaries are before choosing a program. Although it’s good to follow your dreams, he says, it is also good to inject some practicality into it. Don’t take out $100,000 in student loans when you know that the demand for jobs in your field isn’t very high, Teacher Man recommends. (credit:Shutterstock)

7: Not moving to where the money is(08 of17)

Students are flocking to find work in large urban centres, but cities are having trouble finding work for all of them. “They have to be willing to move to where the jobs are,” said Teacher Man. If you hear of a job opening, even if it’s in a not so attractive area far from the conveniences of urban life, that has to be the choice you’re willing to make, he continues. Jobs won’t come running to you – but at least you can run to them.Pictured: The boom town of Fort McMurray, Alberta, where oil industry jobs are plentiful. (credit:Alamy)

8: Getting discouraged by debt(09 of17)

You’re out of school and unemployed or stuck in a job you’re overqualified for – but you still have all that money you have to pay back. Now what? One piece of advice is to not get discouraged.Says Lesley Scorgie: “People are very demotivated by debt, and understandably so. It’s that sphere of the unknown, that they won’t be able to achieve anything because they’re so buried in debt. And that’s just a myth. You can achieve success.” When you get discouraged, it is all too easy to stop doing anything towards your financial future because you feel as though mortgages, cars and being financially independent are all non-options for you. Recognize that those goals are still in your grasp and don’t get stuck in that rut. (credit:Shutterstock)

9: Thinking the financial world is beyond you(10 of17)

Too many people think that saving and investing is about having a mathematical brain, or that to actively save means dedicating most of your money to your bank account. Many millennials, says John Tracy, vice-president of retail savings and investing at TD Bank, think saving will cut into the life they want to lead, and that being financially savvy means putting away hundreds of dollars a month. Not so!. A dollar a day is all it takes. These small acts, Tracy says, build up a good habit of saving, so that in you’re better prepared to handle the larger amounts of money when it eventually comes your way. (credit:Shutterstock)

10: Forgetting about interest rates(11 of17)

We’ve had some of the lowest interest rates in the country for a long time, points out John Tracy. High interest rates discourage consumption, while low interest rates encourage it, and we’re in an economy of such low interest rates, he says, that “the opportunity cost to consume today, in terms of paying interest, is much less.” This, however, lulls you into a false sense of security: What’ll happen when interest rates suddenly go up? They always inevitably do. Prepare for that future and pay down the money. (credit:Shutterstock)

5 things millennials are doing right with their money(12 of17)

At the same time, all hope is not lost. Surprise! There are things that Generation Y is doing that do make them further ahead than other generations. Check out the five things that members of Gen Y are doing right with their money. (credit:Shutterstock)

1: Being interested(13 of17)

Generation Y is definitely looking to know more, says John Tracy, vice-president of retail savings and investing at TD Bank. What he has noticed is that there is a very strong interest among millennials in doing their research online before heading into the banks, and they’ll often do it all ahead of time so they know exactly what they want. Finance blogger “Teacher Man” says that he has noticed an upwards trend in traffic to his website as his content is searched for more and more often on the web. Google Trends shows that there has been a gradual increase in searches for “pay off debt” and “save for retirement” since 2005. (credit:Shutterstock)

2: Being frugal(14 of17)

Millennials are, in fact, among the most conscientious shoppers out there today, said Lesley Scorgie, a millennial who is the best-selling author of Rich By Thirty. “It’s in fashion to be frugal now,” she said. Millennials, more than any other generation, say they have or would use a groupon deal in order to go on their first dates. In a U.S. survey conducted by Coupon Cabin, more than 40 per cent of adults had already used groupons on their first date. “That’s a hilarious stat. It’s now become socially acceptable for this generation to be frugal.” It’s no longer a taboo thing,” Scorgie said. (credit:Shutterstock)

3: Having a good work-life balance(15 of17)

Millennials, says Teacher Man, out of all other generations, value a good work/life balance, which means that they are not too obsessed about money to forget that there is a plant that needs watering. At the same time, they aren’t shirkers. Millennials understand that they need a strong financial future. If they could just get the ball rolling, they’d go far. (credit:Shutterstock)

4: Using the Internet(16 of17)

Generation Y is the Internet generation, and that means that more millennials are using online banking and online money management tools than ever before. “I’m a big fan of online banking, because it saves me time, which in my mind makes me more efficient,” said Teacher Man, who is at the older end of Gen Y. “I can check my balance whenever I want, and for me that makes me more effective at managing my money.”But, he said, there is definitely a worry, as automatic payments make it easy to lose track of where your money is going. In general, however, online tools mean that it is easier than ever to keep on top of your finances and make sure you never forget to pay a bill. (credit:Shutterstock)

5: Thinking outside the box(17 of17)

Being an entrepreneur is the new best thing for millennials, says Rich by Thirty author Lesley Scorgie, especially in times when earning money the traditional way is so hard. Working your way up isn’t so easy anymore, but students who are just starting out do not have experience or opportunities coming out their back pocket.“This generation is willing to try non-traditional things. One of the gals that worked for me at one point, now she’s starting a headband company after graduating and finding it very difficult to find a job,” Scorgie said. Go out on a limb, and you might be rewarded. (credit:Shutterstock)

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