Montana Parents Claim Baby's Leg Was Broken While In Hospital

“I was walking on the street with my three-month old son and a random woman stopped me to say ‘Your son is so cute! Don't give him his shots and make him develop autism!’” -- Amy, Toronto

How to deal: Smile, nod, say thank you and walk away as quickly as humanly possible. Hopefully someday they'll develop a vaccine for misinformed delusion, but chances are the anti-vaccers won't take it.

“We were in a grocery store recently and a man reeking of cigarette smoke approached our four-month-old daughter and started talking to her, touching her face, and asked if he could have a hug. We said no of course. He gave us the most offended look.” -- Jeremy, Calgary

How to deal: It's tough when strangers want to touch, pick up, or kiss your baby. On one hand, they're being complimentary and who doesn't love people telling them their baby is adorable? On the other, there's zero obligation to let anyone touch your kid. You don't know where their hands have been and in some cases it's downright creepy. Trust your instincts and say no politely, but firmly. Sure, they might feel affronted, but it's your baby.

“‘You took your kid to a pub? What kind of parenting is that?!’ Someone said that to me at a party when I showed off a picture of our baby napping in her car seat while we ate brunch on a Saturday afternoon at a local gastropub. Apparently having our baby in the presence of alcohol while we ate our waffles constitutes poor parenting.” -- Simone, Windsor

How to deal: While jumping to justify one's actions, especially as a first-time parent, can be the first instinct for many people, remember that you know what's best for your baby and there's no need to explain anything to anyone. As long as your baby is safe and comfortable, there's nothing wrong with allowing them to get acclimatized to restaurants or even pubs. They're going to have to learn sooner or later. Tell the commenter to take their opinion about your parenting and shove it where the sun don't shine. But, you know, politely.

“‘You should put some socks on your baby!’ A stranger stopped me while shopping to tell me that.” -- Patti, Toronto

How to deal: No one knows your baby better than you. When it's a stranger making comments like these, you can nod politely and keep moving. However, if it's a nosy family member or friend, it gets trickier. You can sometimes think of a short explanation beforehand -- along the lines of "Thanks, but he is comfortable like this." Often a short acknowledgement in a firm tone can end that line of commenting before it becomes a discussion.

“My son was born premature, and I would often have people compare their kids of the same age to him, telling me how theirs had reached certain milestones much quicker. I got so tired of it I finally started saying ‘Oh wow! Lucky you! My kid is such a dodo, I wish he were as smart as yours!’” -- Seema, Victoria

How to deal: Seema hit the nail on the head. Grown ups have no business making unkind comparisons to a parent about their child. Live and let live. Sometimes giving someone enough rope to hang themselves is just plain fun.

“Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?” -- Mark, Vaughan

How to deal: Maybe your baby is sleeping through the night, maybe she isn't. This is probably the most irritating question any new parent has to endure -- in part because babies can change their sleep routines every day, every week or whenever they hit a developmental milestone. Nobody actually cares, they just want something to make vaguely sympathetic noises about. Depending on how ornery you're feeling, you can try one of two things. You can either immediately launch into a detailed (and verbose) explanation about your baby's sleep habits for the last several weeks, throwing in some poop stories for good measure, or, if you're having a particularly bad day, just say "Yes," and leave it at that. Very few people who ask actually care about the answer, so making them listen to 20 minutes worth of night feeds, diaper changes, and false alarms will make them think twice about asking next time.

“We were at a wedding reception with our baby daughter and this lady randomly started to lecture me about how first born girls are extremely controlling and demanding, even as babies. She knew that both my baby and I are firstborn daughters, but kept going anyway. Then she tried to get my husband to agree with her that (first born girls) are ‘b*tches.’ Obviously he didn't, so she changed her tack to say that first born girls are ‘smart’ and ‘determined,’ What a nut job.” -- Lisa, Burlington

How to deal: When people get in your face about something and continue endlessly on a pointless tirade based on no actual facts, sometimes the best thing to do is let them keep talking and digging themselves deeper and deeper into a hole. At which point you can either shut them down by pointing out how insulting they're being, or just plain get up and walk away. Either way, it gives you a funny story to share over a glass of wine.

“I was at a friend's baby shower with my one month old baby, and it was my first outing alone with her. A lady seated next to me took one look at me and said, ‘So, are you breastfeeding? How are your nipples?’ I was amazed. She hadn't even bothered asking my name and she wanted to know the state of my nipples.” -- Karen, Toronto

How to deal: People, usually women, seem to think that they have carte blanche to ask new moms extremely personal and inappropriate questions. No one knows why, but it's annoying as hell. The best thing to do in these situations is to smile politely and change the subject without answering the question. It's none of their business.

“When considering swimming lessons for my infant daughter, someone once told me that I needed to just throw her in to the pool when she was just a few months old so she would learn how to swim properly, because if I wait too long it'll be too late.” -- Catherine, Toronto

How to deal: This is one of those prime examples of people being unhelpfully helpful. It's completely up to you whether you want your kid to learn to swim as an infant or not, and how to go about it. Clearly people of all ages can learn to swim, or do almost anything else (like getting their ears pierced for example). Tell them politely that you'll take their opinion into consideration and exit the conversation or change the topic.

“I was talking to a group of friends and acquaintances about a time when I had to bail on a wedding at the last minute because my infant daughter was crying inconsolably and wouldn't calm down, and this extremely pompous man said, ‘I'm not a parent yet, but I can guarantee you that when I become one, I won't be nagging and complaining as much as you do. I will enjoy every second of it and probably try finding excuses NOT to go out to weddings or go drinking.’” -- Raina, Toronto

How to deal: There are no words you can say to someone like this that can even begin to acknowledge how idiotic this comment is. Anyone without children that begins a sentence with “I'm not a parent yet but...” and goes on to criticize your parenting skills is most likely too stupid to function. Back away slowly and try to avoid speaking to them in the future.

“Someone without children once advised me that soothing and comforting my baby too much, especially when he's crying, will teach him to expect it and that I shouldn't be spoiling him like that.” -- Diana, Toronto

How to deal: There's a lot of opinion on the spoiling of children, especially babies. Regardless of what's actually right or wrong, the decision is entirely yours. Babies, especially those under four months cannot be spoiled. They cry because they need something -- food, sleep, comfort, and so on. No one has the right to try to dissuade you from caring for your child as best you see fit. And it's well within your rights to tell them to back off, firmly if needed.

“When my son got his first cold, someone actually said to me that it was good for him to get sick! I couldn't believe it.” --Adria, Calgary

How to deal: That's just silly. Whether or not your baby “needs” to get sick to build immunity, it's a callous thing to say to a first time parent dealing with their baby's first illness. Ignore them and hope they go away.