This HuffPost Canada page is maintained as part of an online archive.
The Blogblogdating adviceliving

Practice Unconditional Love This Valentine's Day

Unconditional love is hard, it can be uncomfortable and frustrating at times, but in the end I believe it will be the most rewarding practice you can do for yourself and select loved ones. I say select loved ones, as this type of love doesn't mean to neglect self-care or selfishness.
By 

Media Relations Specialist

Media Relations Specialist
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Open Image Modal
Paula Daniëlse via Getty Images

Happy February, friends.

The month of love, Family Day long weekend and, for me personally, my birthday! As my next journey around the sun is coming up, I've been looking back at all the lessons learned from one of my hardest years yet, and have realized an important lesson that I hope you will all take into consideration for Valentine's Day: unconditional love.

I feel as though in today's society practicing unconditional love is rare. People so easily give up once obstacles come their way or an argument occurs between friends or lovers, and one can't agree to disagree.

We tend to walk away so quickly if something isn't stimulating us. God, we have a shorter attention span than goldfish thanks to smartphones!

Unconditional love is hard, it can be uncomfortable and frustrating at times, but in the end I believe it will be the most rewarding practice you can do for yourself and select loved ones. I say select loved ones, as this type of love doesn't mean to neglect self-care or selfishness, as this will only hold back your self-development and happiness.

But what is unconditional love? It has been defined as "affection with no limits or conditions; complete love." Basically loving without set conditions such as, "I'll love you if you do X, Y or Z for me." or "I'll love you as long as it's easy, but once it's hard I'm out of here."

I think while we practice self-care and mindful selfishness, we need to also add to the mix unconditional love to help us in times of happiness, distress and change. Because -- let's face it, people -- life clearly isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

As I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time, I have realized that like many lessons, it's easier said than done. It's so easy to push away people who may not meet your "expectations" or fail to give you the attention you "need" at the moment.

But if you mindfully practice loving those in your life, just as they are (not the version you want them to be), I believe this practice will help maintain healthy, nurturing, non-judgemental and lasting relationships.

With any relationship I believe there are three main pillars that create a solid foundation: honesty, communication and trust. And what I've learned with my partner of 10 (going on 30) years, is the glue that has stuck us together through everything is our unconditional love. No matter how hard life gets, mistakes made, expectations not met or whatever, we love each other unconditionally through it all.

As I aim to practice this rare type of love with my family and chosen friends, I hope these suggestions resonate well with you:

  1. Drop your ego, we all make mistakes

  2. Stop judging, nobody is perfect

  3. Forgive, forgive and be forgiven

  4. Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be

  5. Be honest, communicate your feelings with respect and humility

Whatever you choose to do this Valentine's Day, I encourage you to consider practicing the art of unconditional love to those close to your heart. As Rumi famously states, "And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky."

Follow HuffPost Canada Blogs on Facebook

MORE ON HUFFPOST:

7 Reasons To Love Your Alone Time
It Can Boost Your Creativity(01 of07)
Open Image Modal
Clearing out distractions and allowing time for reflective thought is a great way to tap into your creativity. Being alone with your thoughts is oftentimes a prerequisite for the kind of outside-the-box that's necessary for artistic expression. (credit:alamy )
It Can Alleviate Depression(02 of07)
Open Image Modal
Although loneliness can be a contributing cause of depression, studies have found that time spent in solitude can actually ward off depression in adolescents. A 1997 study found that although teens didn't describe solitude as a positive experience, many reported increased feelings of well-being afterwards. (credit:PA)
It's A Chance To Slow Down & Recharge(03 of07)
Open Image Modal
When you're away from people, technology, work and the myriad distractions of everyday life, you can finally take time to breathe and just be. Use your alone time as a chance to clear out your cluttered mind and just get back in touch with yourself. (credit:Flickr: Sarairachel)
It Allows You To Reflect(04 of07)
Open Image Modal
It's tough to stop and take stock when you're constantly on the go and spending time with friends, family or classmates. Taking a little "me" time gives you an opportunity to get away from distractions for long enough to reflect on your relationships and the course of your life so that you can determine what changes, if any, you may want to make. (credit:shutterstock)
You Can Actually Have Fun By Yourself(05 of07)
Open Image Modal
Once you become more comfortable with the idea of being alone, doing activities like shopping, seeing a movie, or hiking by yourself can actually be enjoyable. You can do whatever you want without having to adhere to anyone's preferences, schedule or expectations. You might discover that spending at least one afternoon or evening per week on your own doing something you love can be totally relaxing and liberating. (credit:Flickr)
It Can Boost Your Self-Esteem(06 of07)
Open Image Modal
Learning to enjoy the time you spend alone can help you to build a better relationship with yourself. Voluntary solitude is a great way to get back in touch with your feelings and remember all the things that make you awesome. If you want to feel more confident and self-sufficient, first tackle your fear of being alone. (credit:alamy)
It Can Improve Memory & Focus(07 of07)
Open Image Modal
Time spent in solitary reflection has been linked to improved concentration, as well as higher levels of academic performance. In their book "Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses," authors and sociology professors Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa find that students who study alone are more apt to succeed and retain knowledge than those who study in groups. (credit:shutterstock)

Related

blogdating advicelivinglove advicelove and relationships
Suggest a correction
-- This HuffPost Canada page is maintained as part of an online archive. If you have questions or concerns, please check our FAQ or contact support@huffpost.com.