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Six Not-So-Punishing Reasons to Read Grey: 50 Shades as Told by Christian

Ever since the filthy-minded and now super-rich E.L. James made the surprise announcement that she was releasing the fan-requested (and previously teased both in her fanfic and at the end of Freed) Grey -- Fifty Shades as told from Christian's POV -- there was buzz. Which raises the question: Is it worth shelling out the $18.95 for the book ($11.99 ebook)? Decide for yourself.
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JEWEL SAMAD via Getty Images
British author E.L. James poses with a copy of her new book 'Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian' at the Barnes and Noble store on Fifth Avenue in New York on June 18, 2015. The 'Fifty Shades' trilogy is a record-breaking contemporary publishing phenomenon, selling more than 125 million copies worldwide and translated into more than 50 languages. AFP PHOTO/JEWEL SAMAD (Photo credit should read JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

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Happy birthday, Christian Grey. And what a celebration you must have had on June 18. After all, not everyone gets their own novel written all about them -- and on their special day, no less. But wait! Hasn't your story been told? Didn't we already close the last chapter on your life after you and your muse, Anastasia, got your happily ever after at the end of 50 Shades Freed?

Apparently not. Ever since the filthy-minded and now super-rich E.L. James made the surprise announcement that she was releasing the fan-requested (and previously teased both in her fanfic and at the end of Freed) Grey -- Fifty Shades as told from Christian's POV -- there was buzz. Would we learn anything new? Was this a money grab designed to capitalize on the more than 125 million copies of her trilogy sold worldwide? Is Christian a psychopath or a sheep in wolf's clothing?

Most importantly, we wanna know: Does Christian have an inner God (maybe demon?) and a bossy subconscious of his own lurking in there somewhere?

Answers: yes, yes, no, and surprisingly, yes.

Which raises the question: Is it worth shelling out the $18.95 for the book ($11.99 ebook)? Decide for yourself.

6 Reasons You Should Read Grey Right Now

1. The 411 factor

Christian Grey is one complicated guy, to say the least. This man of few words but many thoughts can be hard to figure out. Is he a stalker or just persistent? Is he as confident as he seems? What motivates and drives him? We've wondered how he's so successful at such a young age and why he seeks so much control and this window into our man's very thoughts answers all your questions.

2. The odd appreciation for the original

Grey has obviously been edited and someone, somewhere, somehow, succeeded in reigning in E.L. James and her strange literary acrobatics. However, we're sad to say, this follow-up lacks some of the uniqueness -- and unlikely hilarity -- of the trilogy. Could it be that we actually like, in some sadomasochistic, self-punishing way, the author's strange turns of phrase? Plus, it's way less dirty. Which is sad considering these books almost spawned an industry. Have they edited out the fun?

3. The commitment involved

If you've seen the movie and read the entire trilogy cover-to-cover, you kinda have a responsibility to yourself to see this thing through. Aw, come on now. You know you want to.

4. The revisiting of your favourite scenes

No pun intended, because we're not necessarily using the word "scenes" in the same way Christian does -- unless you want us to. Nonetheless, get ready to swoon once again as our hero rescues Ana when she faints in the bar, introduces her to the wonders of coitus (we're not sure about you, but our first time didn't go exactly like that), and participates in the joys of menstruation (GROSS!). Whatever.

5. The falling in love all over again

There's a reason so many women got hooked on 50 Shades of Grey and it obviously wasn't the lofty prose. It was the romance between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Whatever E.L. James' literary failings are, she can create compelling characters who make us FEEL. Sure, critics have derided the story with claims that the relationship was abusive and misleading. But the trope of sweet young thing saving damaged hunk will never die because we women live for that crap.

6. The window into the guy

Every woman is the same: We wanna know what goes on in a man's mind. And this window into Christian's thoughts shows us that he's as confused and consumed by the relationship as Ana is. He's far less in control, and way more damaged than she might think. This book lets us begin to view Christian Grey as less of a stalker and more of an empathetic character.

What we still don't know:

Hmmmm. We're wondering whether much of this book in rebuttal to abuse advocates, or if its purpose to support and protect the upcoming movies?

Why so many of our questions still go unanswered after 500 more pages? The most pressing one? How did a college student living in the year 2010 fail to own a computer or cell phone?

Guess we'll have to keep our eyes peeled for a prequel. Why make up new characters when the old ones work just fine? Right, E.L.?

By: Mara Shapiro, Co-founder and co-editor of BrazenWoman.com.

MORE ON HUFFPOST:

50 Things 50 Shades Is (Probably) Out Selling
1. The Highway Code(01 of50)
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We're sorry to rub this in, but the world's most boring book just got a decidedly raunchier competitor in the best selling stakes. Unfortunately, there's no promises a copy of Shades will help you pass your theory test. (credit:Flickr: psd)
2. Stamps(02 of50)
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If Shades is encouraging anything, it's not the ancient and romantic art of writing love letters. Especially not after the recent price hike. (credit:Flickr: jurvetson)
3. Dressing Gowns(03 of50)
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Move over, Hugh Hefner, your silky loungewear is no longer the epitome of male sex appeal. (credit:Flickr: Pop Culture Geek)
4. Chest Wigs(04 of50)
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See previous.IMAGE:Flickr.com/drinksmachine
5. Supermarket dinner for two for £10(05 of50)
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They may be convenient, but they're a bit more M&S then S&M, sadly. (credit:Flickr: aliwest44)
6. Tickets to the Rocky Horror Show(06 of50)
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You still thought this was risque? Oh... (credit:Flickr: Epiclectic)
7. Snowglobes(07 of50)
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Never the classiest form of souvenir. (credit:Flickr: Britanglishman)
8. Hot water bottle(08 of50)
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Especially not when hidden inside a cuddly animal cover. (credit:Flickr: Esther Gibbons)
9. Typewriters(09 of50)
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These belong in the whole Moulin Rouge genre of raunch. Next. (credit:Flickr: xlibber)
10. The Atkins Diet(10 of50)
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Bit of a cheat, really, as sales of these have been declining since the mid-noughties. (credit:MediaWiki: Palosirkka)
11. Bottles of cough medicine(11 of50)
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It's summer. (credit:Flickr: Wystan)
12. Scarves(12 of50)
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Apart from the types needed to tie up lovers with. (credit:Flickr: poodlemama9)
13. Watches(13 of50)
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Most people use their phone to tell the time with now, right? (credit:MediaWiki: Autopilot)
14. Pugs(14 of50)
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Yes, they're a very fashionable dog right now, but they're far more demanding than your average best-selling paperback.IMAGE:Flickr.com/0¢
15. Elton John records(15 of50)
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Is he even producing them any more?! A fall from grace from the bespectacled wonder.IMAGE:Flickr.com/Epiclectic
16. Bicycle pumps(16 of50)
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Granted, the olympics are in full swing. But any DIY sex toy involving one of these is going to end up with a trip to A&E.IMAGE:Flickr.com/ Johnsen Frameworks
17. Elastic bands(17 of50)
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The most domestic form of rubber good. Up there with...IMAGE:Flickr.com/ Johnsen Frameworks
18. Plugs(18 of50)
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Of the drain-blocking variety. Not to be confused with number 14. Also in the rubber line...IMAGE:Flickr.com/Robynlou8
19. Swimming hats(19 of50)
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Sexy, but not necessarily part of your beach look this year. IMAGE:Flickr.com/Laurie Pink
20. The Da Vinci Code(20 of50)
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2003 called, it wants its best seller back.
21. Pencils(21 of50)
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With thousands of copies of Shades littering public transport, there's no wood left for these useful scribing tools.IMAGE:Flickr.com/hownowdesign
22. Big Macs(22 of50)
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Tasty. But gherkins = halitosis. (credit:MediaWiki: Evan-Amos)
23. Copies of Wet Wet Wet's "Love Is All Around"(23 of50)
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You're still using this as a seduction technique? Awkward.
24. Condoms(24 of50)
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The irony of Shades is that the book's so addictive that the prospect of having actual sex is just a tad, well, distracting. (credit:MediaWiki: File Up)
25. All of the items in the book combined(25 of50)
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Sure, you're happy enough to go and read about the whips and the chains and the other clunky bedroom accessories - but going to the extent to buy them? Meh. (credit:MediaWiki: Handcuffed)
26. Wedding rings(26 of50)
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It's fair to say that any Shades reader is somewhat more intimidating marriage material now. Let's not get started on the white dress. (credit:MediaWiki: Electron)
27. Newspapers(27 of50)
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Say what? All those stories about Shades are getting dull? You'd rather read the actual book? (credit:MediaWiki: Apdency)
29. The Crazy Frog ringtone(28 of50)
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Thank god one dreadful best seller has killed another. (credit:MediaWiki: Hill)
28. Jilly Cooper's Riders(29 of50)
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Yes, we are in floods of tears about this. No, Shades will never fill the Cooper-shaped hole in our heart.
30. Dusters(30 of50)
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Bored housewives have far better things to do with their time now. (credit:MediaWiki: Stefan4)
31. Tickets to the Olympic stadium(31 of50)
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Despite being the equivalent of event gold dust at the moment, the amount sucked up by corporate sponsors has meant that Shades is a far more egalitarian option. (credit:MediaWiki: )
32. Spice Girls posters(32 of50)
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Although we're hoping that Shades isn't taking the equivalent place on young girls' walls. (credit:MediaWiki: )
33. Razors(33 of50)
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Female body hair is in, if you hadn't heard. Plus, much like point 24 states, women have far better things to do right now. (credit:MediaWiki: Karam.Anthony.K)
34. Lady Chatterly's Lover(34 of50)
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It may be the thinking gal's Shades, but we can't believe copies are flying off the shelves.
35. Mansions(35 of50)
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We're in the middle of a recession, don't you know? (credit:MediaWiki: Mansionevents)
36. Bunting(36 of50)
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*Yawn* The Jubilee is so three months ago. (credit:MediaWiki: Jza84)
37. Pegs(37 of50)
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Sexy instruments of mild torture are far more...shiny, these days. (credit:MediaWiki: Flickr upload bot)
38. Lunchboxes(38 of50)
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Most people buy lunch out now, right? Secondly, after Shades, there are less coy ways of referring to a man's package. (credit:MediaWiki: Flick)
39. Coathangers(39 of50)
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Oh yes, because steamy sexual encounters are made by neatly hanging up one's clothes. (credit:MediaWiki: )
40. CKOne(40 of50)
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It's unlikely Christian and Anastasia have a shower and share his'n'hers perfume after a romp.
41. Kettle Chips(41 of50)
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Once the ultimate in middle-class wooing snack. Now the harbinger of bad breath. (credit:MediaWiki: Evan-Amos)
42. Wills and Kate mugs(42 of50)
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We literally shudder to think of either of them practising any of that. (credit:Flickr: celesteh)
43. Sunglasses(43 of50)
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Have you been outside during the last three months at all?! (credit:MediaWiki: )
44. Chicken Kievs(44 of50)
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We gather that breaded garlicky poultry has declined in popularity. (credit:MediaWiki: Liftarn)
45. Novelty ties(45 of50)
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See the book cover. (credit:Flickr: Annie Mole)
46. One Day(46 of50)
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Ok, well, you probably should read this if you haven't yet, but do it in a hovel somewhere. Don't bring it up in conversation for fear of derision and mild mocking.
47. Jim Sturgess(47 of50)
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OK - there is only one of him. But in terms of fantasy fodder, even a million of him wouldn't challenge Christian Grey. (credit:MediaWiki: Nehrams2020)
48. Tripe(48 of50)
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We're guessing it hasn't been all that popular for a while. (credit:MediaWiki: Flick)
49. Cosmo magazine(49 of50)
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Ridiculous as the sex tips offered in Shades are, people are still more likely to try them than those advised in this publication.
50. Cupcakes(50 of50)
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If we are to be grateful to this publication for anything, it is for the death of twee. (credit:MediaWiki: Palosirkka)
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