The NHL Awards are happening tonight in Las Vegas.
We can only hope the introduction is better than the one from 1995, which was posted to YouTube by blogger Spike Coffman on Tuesday.
This dance routine looks like it's straight out of "In Living Color." Only worse.
The awards show starts at 6 p.m. ET on the NHL Network.
You know, if you feel so inclined.
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NHL Playoff Beards
14) The Basic Beard: André Roy(01 of15)
André Roy's team, the Tampa Bay Lightning, took home the Stanley Cup when Roy sported this well-manicured playoff beard in 2004.
Pros: even distribution, nice color, above-average grooming
Cons: lack of imagination, and...above-average grooming
Final Score: a solid C (credit:Getty Images)
Pros: even distribution, nice color, above-average grooming
Cons: lack of imagination, and...above-average grooming
Final Score: a solid C (credit:Getty Images)
13) The #TeamEmo Beard: The Phoenix Coyotes(02 of15)
The Coyotes' 2012 line-up featured several of the Phoenix Coyotes sporting hip, patchy scruff during their journey to the Stanley Cup championship.
Pros: huge props for team effort
Cons: notable lack of aggressive, unruly growth
Score: C+ (credit:Getty Images)
Pros: huge props for team effort
Cons: notable lack of aggressive, unruly growth
Score: C+ (credit:Getty Images)
12) The Classic Beard: Patrick Maroon(03 of15)
2014 has seen its share of playoff beards too. This one from the Anaheim Ducks' Forward Patrick Maroon is straightforward, but robust.
Pros: the perfect beard for the well-groomed guy
Cons: not ambitious enough for a dude with some serious hair-growing potential
Score: B- (credit:Anaheim Ducks)
Pros: the perfect beard for the well-groomed guy
Cons: not ambitious enough for a dude with some serious hair-growing potential
Score: B- (credit:Anaheim Ducks)
11) The Redbeard Beard: Raffi Torres(04 of15)
Raphael "Raffi" Torres, who played for the Vancouver Canucks at the time, grew this ruby masterpiece for the 2011 playoffs against the Boston Bruins.
Pros: striking color to scare off predators
Cons: missed growth opportunity (i.e., could be longer)
Score: B- (credit:Vancouver Canucks)
Pros: striking color to scare off predators
Cons: missed growth opportunity (i.e., could be longer)
Score: B- (credit:Vancouver Canucks)
10) The Two-Tone Beard: Jake Voráček(05 of15)
Czech Jake Voráček of the Philadelphia Flyers has this gnarly beard in the works for his team's current run at the championship.
Pros: inexplicable blonde-black combo, impressive handlebar mustache situation
Cons: sideburns noticeably absent and/or undefined
Score: B (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
Pros: inexplicable blonde-black combo, impressive handlebar mustache situation
Cons: sideburns noticeably absent and/or undefined
Score: B (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
9) The Dapper Gentleman's Beard: Chris Higgins(06 of15)
Chris Higgins grew this impressively full beard during the 2011 playoffs. His Vancouver Canucks made it to the finals that season, but lost to the Boston Bruins four games to three.
Pros: the kind of beard that makes one stop and think, "damn, that's a manly beard."
Cons: distracting, untrimmed mustache hairs
Score: B (credit:Vancouver Canucks)
Pros: the kind of beard that makes one stop and think, "damn, that's a manly beard."
Cons: distracting, untrimmed mustache hairs
Score: B (credit:Vancouver Canucks)
8) The Mood-Appropriate Beard: Jordie Benn(07 of15)
Jordie Benn of the Dallas Stars is also rocking a pretty mean beard for this year's playoffs.
Pros: excellent facial expression/facial hair harmony
Cons: none really, but we've seen better
Score: B (credit:Dallas Stars)
Pros: excellent facial expression/facial hair harmony
Cons: none really, but we've seen better
Score: B (credit:Dallas Stars)
7) The Mid-Length Beard: Ville Leino(08 of15)
Finnish player Ville Leino grew this beard out for the 2010 playoffs with the Flyers. He currently plays for the Buffalo Sabres.
Pros: perfect juxtaposition of untamed length and well-groomed shaping
Cons: holding back a bit on the sides
Score: B (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
Pros: perfect juxtaposition of untamed length and well-groomed shaping
Cons: holding back a bit on the sides
Score: B (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
6) The Orange Extravaganza Beard: Claude Giroux(09 of15)
This might as well be the same picture as the previous bearded Flyer, but Center Claude Giroux of the Philadelphia Flyers grew this fiery gem for the 2010 playoffs. His team advanced to the Finals that season, but were defeated by the Chicago Blackhawks.
Pros: coloring pairs perfectly with the Flyers uniform (sorry, Ville)
Cons: notable gap between mustache and chin beard
Score: B+ (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
Pros: coloring pairs perfectly with the Flyers uniform (sorry, Ville)
Cons: notable gap between mustache and chin beard
Score: B+ (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
5) The Neck Beard: Daniel Winnik(10 of15)
Daniel Winnik of the Anaheim Ducks is growing out this beard for the current playoffs.
Pros: aggressive neck beard, yet still somehow real-life appropriate
Cons: perhaps a little too real-life appropriate
Score: B+ (credit:Anaheim Ducks)
Pros: aggressive neck beard, yet still somehow real-life appropriate
Cons: perhaps a little too real-life appropriate
Score: B+ (credit:Anaheim Ducks)
4) The Super Neck Beard: Radko Gudas(11 of15)
Here's the beard that Radko Gudas grew for this season's playoffs. His team, the Tampa Bay Lightning, was unfortunately knocked out during the first round by the Montreal Canadiens in late April.
Pros: basically sets a new standard for all of mankind's future neck beard attempts
Cons: didn't fulfill expectations
Score: B+ (credit:Getty Images)
Pros: basically sets a new standard for all of mankind's future neck beard attempts
Cons: didn't fulfill expectations
Score: B+ (credit:Getty Images)
3) The No-Boundaries Beard: Scott Hartnell(12 of15)
Continuing the Flyers' domination of the playoff beard lineup, the steely-eyed Scott Hartnell of the Philadelphia Flyers grew this wild beauty for the 2010 playoffs.
Pros: thinks outside the box (and face)
Cons: too much of a good thing?
Score: A (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
Pros: thinks outside the box (and face)
Cons: too much of a good thing?
Score: A (credit:Philadelphia Flyers)
2) The Gap-Happy Beard: Ken Daneyko(13 of15)
Ken Deneyko, who spent his entire career with the New Jersey Devils, rocks a toothless grin and shaggy beard in this photo after his team won the 2003 Stanley Cup.
Pros: epic toothlessness makes this glorious masterpiece even more complete
Cons: objectively, very patchy
Score: A (credit:New Jersey Devils)
Pros: epic toothlessness makes this glorious masterpiece even more complete
Cons: objectively, very patchy
Score: A (credit:New Jersey Devils)
1) The Ultimate Playoff Beard: Mike Commodore(14 of15)
Mike Commodore of the Carolina Hurricanes grew out this beard for his team's successful Stanley Cup journey. The Canes came out on top of the league in 2006.
Pros: nails the playoff beard hat trick -- loud color, unruly shape and all-over shag. Plus, the bathrobe brings the Dude aesthetic to life in a truly delightful way.
Cons: absolutely none
Score: A+ (credit:Carolina Hurricanes)
Pros: nails the playoff beard hat trick -- loud color, unruly shape and all-over shag. Plus, the bathrobe brings the Dude aesthetic to life in a truly delightful way.
Cons: absolutely none
Score: A+ (credit:Carolina Hurricanes)
Bonus: François Beauchemin's Beard Progression(15 of15)
Here's a real treat. Check out how Duck player François Beauchemin's beard has come in. It's looking pretty strong! (credit:Anaheim Ducks)