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There Are Only Three Kinds of Book Clubs

Books are doors that open into a vast and unending variety of worlds and experiences and the book clubs we attend are the real doors that open into peoples lives so we can share those words and our journeys.
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Recently a friend of mine confided in me about her book club.

"Heather, I'm in a book club where you have to read the book and if you don't finish it they are offended. Seriously offended. Your name goes a list and then if you end up on the list too many times, you're asked to leave the group. These are heavy books -- like examining existentialism and I don't know, literary musings of the literate."

"Really? Is there wine at the meeting?"

"No! Sometimes there will be hard candies in a bowl."

"Like at a Grandma's house?" It was the only other place I could imagine finding those twisted wrapper candies that tasted like dust.

"Yes! And then we take a couple of hours and we talk about the book, using pre-selected questions and everyone is totally into it. I can barely get through the book, let alone discuss how I feel about it because, well, I feel stupid, or bored or I don't know what."

"Why do you go?"

"Because I thought it would be a good place to meet people. And I love books, just not these books."

"Hmm. I hear you. Sometimes I start a 'critically acclaimed' book only to realize I'm too dumb or ignorant to get past the first chapter. I say to myself, 'Come on Heather you're not giving it a chance' and then when I try again, I feel like yelling, who would read this? Are you going to keep going to the read it or die group?" I asked her.

"I guess, for now. At least until I can come up with a better club."

BOOK CLUB TYPE I: Read It or Die.

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Read it Or Die Book Clubs select books, discuss them by choice and enjoy the process. Age range unlimited. Alcohol is generally unwelcome. Food is a distraction. These clubs aren't for everyone. If you ask about a club's reading selection and they use words like, classics, or literary style...just know this might not be the place to meet other moms that want to 'sneak' out for a couple hours.

"Mom, how long have you known the ladies in your book club?" My mother is in her mid-sixties.

"Well, probably 20 years. We've been calling it the book club before there was a 'book club' trend you know."

"True. But you guys don't read any books."

"Sure we read books. We just each read our own book, go shopping and drink wine. That's the book club."

"Do you share your books?"

"Well, Loraine always gets her's from the library so she can't really share those. And Judy reads really fast so sometimes we trade books. But mostly we just recommend books to each other that we think the other person would like."

"Why'd you start calling it the book club then?"

"Because our Florida trip always involves reading, but mostly we read wine labels -- they are like really short books."

Book Club Type II: Read it, then Drink it.

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No books are selected for group reading. Reading any book is considered a good sign but not necessary for membership in the club. Alcohol is mandatory and food is both welcomed and savoured. There is a strict requirement of friendship to belong to the Read it and then Drink it Club and not all applicants will be accepted.

"Heather, you should come to our book club. It's fun."

"What do you guys read?"

"Oh, different stuff. Sometimes we read fiction, or non-fiction; sometimes we do something from the best sellers list or we'll pick a new author. It just depends. We meet on Wednesdays. We rotate houses."

"Is there wine?"

"Oh, for sure. And food. Sometimes we talk about the books and sometimes we talk about life. Most of the ladies are happy to get out for the evening -- read a decent book and then enjoy some socializing."

"That sounds good. Does everyone actually read the book?"

"Some read it, some don't finish it -- some apologize because life got the better of them and they didn't even get the book. It happens."

I nodded in agreement with her statement and added my own thoughts. "I agree. Books are so personal. There have been times when someone recommends a book and when I read the back cover, it talks about the death of a child or a mother with three kids, battling cancer - and I'm sure there are great lessons and insights but the storyline feels too close, too possible. I love being moved by a book but I can't read books that paralyze me - do you know what I mean?"

"Yah. I do know. It's hard enough to get to a meeting -- arranging everyone's schedule so I can get away -- let alone read the book or read a book that makes me feel utterly depressed. Read it, don't read it, whatever you want, but just come."

Book Club Type III: Read it, Don't read it, but Come and We'll Hug You.

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Books are selected for their enjoyment, ease of reading and sometimes controversial content. Books are discussed or not discussed, food is always available and alcohol is a silent soldier happily waiting on the counter top. This is the warm-hug of book clubs; happy to have you, happy to share books, and most importantly, happy to share life.

Books are doors that open into a vast and unending variety of worlds and experiences and the book clubs we attend are the real doors that open into peoples lives so we can share those words and our journeys.

Interested in having this author at your book club meeting? Click here.

Happy Slice Everyone.

ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

Book Club Books For Fall 2014
(01 of22)
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The book: A Deadly Wandering: A Tale Of Tragedy and Redemption in the Age of AttentionAuthor: New York Times writer Matt RichtelThe publisher's blurb: "A brilliant, narrative-driven exploration of technology’s vast influence on the human mind and society, dramatically told through the lens of a tragic 'texting-while-driving' car crash that claimed the lives of two rocket scientists in 2006"The potential discussion topics: Is technology really ruining our lives? How is technology helping us?The pages: 416
(02 of22)
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The book: And Home Was Kariakoo: A Memoir Of East AfricaAuthor: Two time Giller Prize winner M.G. VassanjiThe publisher's blurb: "Part travelogue, part memoir, and part history-rarely-told, here is a powerful and timely portrait of a constantly evolving land."The potential discussion topics: How does a homeland define your whole life? Do people romanticize the places they've left?The pages: 400
(03 of22)
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The book: Beautiful YouAuthor: Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, Choke and many moreThe publisher's blurb: "A novel about the apocalyptic marketing possibilities of female pleasure. Sisters will be doing it for themselves. And doing it. And doing it. And doing it some more. . ."The potential discussion topics: How has feminism changed how businesses run? Is that good or bad? And could they be doing it better?The pages: 240
(04 of22)
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The book: Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the EndAuthor: New Yorker staff writer Atul GawandeThe publisher's blurb: "When it comes to the inescapable realities of aging and death, what medicine can do often runs counter to what it should. Through eye-opening research and gripping stories of his own patients and family, Gawande reveals the suffering this dynamic has produced."The potential discussion topics: What does elderly care look like for different families? What struggles does Gawande miss in the book? What do you want your own experience to look like?The pages: 304
(05 of22)
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The book: Big Little LiesAuthor: Liane Moriarty, author of The Husband's SecretThe publisher's blurb: "Big Little Lies is a brilliant take on ex-husbands and second wives, mothers and daughters, schoolyard scandal, and the dangerous little lies we tell ourselves just to survive."The potential discussion topics: What kind of role does the neighbourhood and the fact that it concerns parents have in this story? What were the most surprising "lies" in the book to you?The pages: 480 pages
(06 of22)
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The book: Emma: A Modern Retelling (note: available Oct. 28, 2014)Author: Alexander McCall Smith, author of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency SeriesThe publisher's blurb: "Emma Woodhouse's widowed father is an anxious man, obsessed with nutrition and the latest vitamins. He lives the life of a country gentleman in contemporary England, protectively raising his young daughters, Isabella and Emma ..."The potential discussion topics: Do you prefer the original, or this modern version? Have you found that to be the case with other retellings?The pages: 368
(07 of22)
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The book: Food: A Love Story (note: available Oct. 21, 2014)Author: Comedian Jim GaffiganThe publisher's blurb: "Insights such as: why he believes coconut water was invented to get people to stop drinking coconut water, why pretzel bread is #3 on his most important inventions of humankind (behind the wheel and the computer), and the answer to the age-old question 'which animal is more delicious: the pig, the cow, or the bacon cheeseburger?'"The potential discussion topics: Why is Jim Gaffigan so hilarious? No, but seriously, why is food such a beloved topic for people today? What would your food love story be?The pages: 352
(08 of22)
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The book: HorrorstorAuthor: Grady HendrixThe publisher's blurb: "A traditional haunted house story in a contemporary setting (and full of current fears), Horrorstör comes conveniently packaged in the form of a retail catalog, complete with illustrations of ready-to-assemble furniture and other, more sinister accessories."The potential discussion topics: How did your perception of what your life would look like change from when you were younger? Was there one significant incident that changed the course of your life?The pages: 256
(09 of22)
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The book: The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy (available Oct. 21, 2014)Author: Rachel Joyce, author of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold FryThe publisher's blurb: "When Queenie Hennessy discovers that Harold Fry is walking the length of England to save her, and all she has to do is wait, she is shocked. Her note had explained she was dying. How can she wait? Queenie thought her first letter would be the end of the story. She was wrong. It was the beginning."The potential discussion topics: Was there one time when you had a chance to see the other side of the story and it changed everything? Which story did you prefer, Queenie's or Harold's?The pages: 384
(10 of22)
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The book: My OctoberAuthor: Claire Holden Rothman, author of The Heart SpecialistThe publisher's blurb: "Weaving together three unique voices, My October is a masterful tale of a modern family torn apart by the power of language and the weight of history."The potential discussion topics: Does this book ring true with people's experiences with Montreal, or other cities where different politics are constantly on display? How does the family dynamic resonate throughout the book?The pages: 352
(11 of22)
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The book: The Narrow Road to the Deep NorthAuthor: Richard FlanaganThe publisher's blurb: "Moving deftly from the POW camp to contemporary Australia, from the experiences of surgeon Dorrigo Evans and his comrades to those of the Japanese guards, this savagely beautiful novel tells a story of love, death, and family, exploring the many forms of good and evil, war and truth, guilt and transcendence, as one man comes of age, prospers, only to discover all that he has lost."The potential discussion topics: Did you identify with one side or another in the book? Why or why not? Which part of Dorrigo or the others' struggles did you find most moving?The pages: 352
(12 of22)
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The book: Not That Kind Of GirlAuthor: Lena Dunham, creator of "Girls"The publisher's blurb: "In Not That Kind of Girl, Dunham illuminates the experiences that are part of making one's way in the world: falling in love, feeling alone, being ten pounds overweight despite eating only health food, having to prove yourself in a room full of men twice your age, finding true love, and, most of all, having the guts to believe that your story is one that deserves to be told."The potential discussion topics: How did you feel about Dunham before reading the book, and did that change at all after reading it? If you could write a story about your teenage years, what would it be called?The pages: 288
(13 of22)
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The book: Station ElevenAuthor: Emily St. John MandelThe publisher's blurb: "An audacious, darkly glittering novel about art, fame and ambition set in the eerie days of civilization''s collapse."The potential discussion topics: Which art would you want to survive in an apocalypse? Why is something like Shakespeare so enduring?The pages: 352
(14 of22)
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The book: The BetrayersAuthor: David Bezmozgis, author of Natasha and Other StoriesThe publisher's blurb: "These incandescent pages give us one momentous day in the life of Baruch Kotler, a disgraced Israeli politician. When he refuses to back down from a contrary but principled stand regarding the West Bank settlements, his political opponents expose his affair with a mistress decades his junior."The potential discussion topics: What is the biggest stand you've ever taken? The pages: 240
(15 of22)
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The book: The Children ActAuthor: Ian McEwan, author of Atonement, Amsterdam and many more.The publisher's blurb: "Often the outcome of a case seems simple from the outside, the course of action to ensure a child's welfare obvious. But the law requires more rigor than mere pragmatism, and Fiona Maye is expert in considering the sensitivities of culture and religion when handing down her verdicts."The potential discussion topics: At what point, if ever, do you think the law should intervene in the case of a child's health? What are other ways parents put their children at risk? What kind of role does happiness and others' opinions play in your life?The pages: 240
(16 of22)
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The book: The Journey Prize Stories 26Author: Selected by Steven W. Beattie, Craig Davidson, Saleema NawazThe publisher's blurb: "This celebrated annual fiction anthology showcases the best short stories of the year by some of our most exciting new writers."The potential discussion topics: Which stories were your favourites? Why did you find others didn't work? Have you read long-form by these authors, and is there a difference?The pages: 256
(17 of22)
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The book: The MiniaturistAuthor: Jessie BurtonThe publisher's blurb: "Nella Oortman receives an extraordinary wedding gift: a cabinet-sized replica of their home. It is to be furnished by an elusive miniaturist, whose tiny creations mirror their real-life counterparts in unexpected ways ..."The potential discussion topics: How did religion play a role in that society, and how does it act now? What questions, if any, do you wish had been answered by the book? Did you come up with your own answers?The pages: 416
(18 of22)
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The book: The Story HourAuthor: Thrity Umrigar, author of The Space Between UsThe publisher's blurb: "An experienced psychologist, Maggie carefully maintains emotional distance from her patients. But when she meets a young Indian woman who tried to kill herself, her professional detachment disintegrates."The potential discussion topics: What are the differences between a therapist and a friend? How can expectations ruin relationships, and how can they be fixed?The pages: 341
(19 of22)
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The book: We Are All Completely Beside OurselvesAuthor: Karen Joy FowlerThe publisher's blurb: "Meet the Cooke family: Mother and Dad, brother Lowell, sister Fern, and our narrator, Rosemary, who begins her story in the middle. She has her reasons."The potential discussion topics: Are our relationships with animals the same as our relationships with humans — why or why not? Can you think of a defining moment in your life where you lost trust?The pages: 320
(20 of22)
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The book: Windigo FireAuthor: M.H. CallwayThe publisher's blurb: "Native Canadian Danny Bluestone is hired as guide for an illegal bear hunt. The morning after the kill, he awakes to find all but one of the hunters murdered and the surrounding forest ablaze. To survive the fire, a murderer and the Windigo spirit pursuing him, Danny must use all his skills as well as the teachings of his shaman grandmother."The potential discussion topics: Have you ever been given any lessons you think would help you survive in the wild? Why is the wilderness such a key component in Canadian literature?The pages: 290
(21 of22)
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The book: Women In ClothesAuthor: Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits, Leanne Shapton and 639 othersThe publisher's blurb: "It is essentially a conversation among hundreds of women of all nationalities — famous, anonymous, religious, secular, married, single, young, old — on the subject of clothing, and how the garments we put on every day define and shape our lives."The potential discussion topics: What is your own relationship with clothes? Do you have go-to items to feel, say, powerful, confident, sexy, beautiful? How much stock do you put into your closet?The pages: 528 (with plenty of pictures)
(22 of22)
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The book: Worth Dying For: Canada's Mission To Train Police In The World's Failing StatesAuthor: Terry Gould, author of Murder Without BordersThe publisher's blurb: "As Canadians' sense of pride in their country''s 'blue helmet' global peacekeeping role fades away, little attention is paid to the RCMP's International Peace Operations Branch, a unit that travels to the world''s most desperate places to help train corrupt police forces in ethical practices."The potential discussion topics: How do you view the role of police, either in your city or abroad? What do you think Canada's role should be on the world stage? Can corrupt governments ever change?The pages: 336
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