If you think family photos are all about perfect poses and fake smiles, think again. It turns out the best family photos come from breaking the rules you might not even know existed.
As we enter holiday card season, HuffPost asked professional photographers to share one thing that they never do in their own family photos. Keep scrolling for their go-to rules, which reveal the secrets to authentic, meaningful images.
I never rely on stiff poses.
“I never force my family into stiff poses. If someone isn’t comfortable, it shows immediately. Genuine connection always photographs better than perfection, and I’d much rather capture an honest moment than a forced one. A common mistake people make in family photos is focusing so much on posing that they forget to actually interact. Connection always photographs better. Love on your children, play games, ask silly questions, and let the moment feel like an adventure instead of a photoshoot. When families lean into play, curiosity and movement, the images become far more meaningful than anything perfectly posed.” ― Norma Fayak of Norma Fayak Photography
I never take outdoor photos in bad lighting.
“I never take our outdoor family portraits in the harsh, midday sun. Nobody wants to squint through a photoshoot! I love light that is soft, even and flattering. While I could opt to stick to a shady location, my true preference is to photograph my yearly family portrait during the pretty light of the golden hours: the hour directly after sunrise or the hour before sunset. Yes, it can be a pain getting everyone ready and out early in the morning or late in the evening, but photographing my family wrapped in beautiful light always makes the hassle worth it to me in the end!” ― Kelley Hoagland of Kelley Hoagland Photography
I never forget about movement.
“One thing I never do in my family photos is ask everyone to stand perfectly still. Even though a photograph becomes a still image, the process of capturing it shouldn’t be stiff. Movement reads as far more organic and natural on camera. Families ― especially like mine with four young kids ― are busy, lively and always in motion, and I want the images of my family to reflect that real energy. Whether it’s walking, swaying, playing, or simply shifting weight and interacting, those little bits of movement create authenticity. They soften postures, bring out genuine expressions, and allow families to feel like themselves instead of posing for a picture.” ― Maxine Cadman, a Nations Photo Lab-affiliated photographer
I never position myself straight-on to the camera.
“I never position myself (or my family) straight-on to the camera. It makes everyone look stiff and wide. I always angle my body slightly and relax my stance; it instantly looks more natural and flattering. Even a tiny shift makes a big difference. People also tend to stand too far apart. Bringing everyone a little closer creates connection, better composition and instantly makes the image feel more intentional.” ― Isela Lozano
I never choose an inconvenient location or time.
“In my own family photos, I never choose a location that is hard to get to for my family. I would rather shoot at a location that is close to the house where people stay in a better mood, than drag them further away where there is a potential for bad moods. It’s more about the mood over the location. People also make the mistake of bringing kids to the photoshoot close to nap time or hungry.” ― Annie Vovan of Annie Vovan Photography
I never pretend we are perfect.
“One thing I never do in my family photos is pretend we are the perfect, posed family. The reason is that each family member is different, and the whole purpose of the photos is to capture the essence of our family at this stage and as we grow. Each member sees our family differently, and because of that, I listen to their pose suggestions/ideas and let the poses flow. Before we had our second child, family photos were a breeze, but our first photo with our second child, you can see the moment chaos arrived! And it’s funny and beautiful. I love looking back at our photos and seeing the personalities of our kids, how they see themselves/us through their eyes.” ― Nicole Mondestin of Nicole Mondestin Photography
I never overthink and forget to enjoy the moment.
“It’s so easy to overthink family photos and get caught up in having the perfect outfit, pose, or smile in order to capture the best photo. I always recommend prioritizing being comfortable and, most importantly, being yourself, which I do through wearing something I feel confident in and relaxing in the moment. The real magic happens when everyone is being and enjoying their most authentic selves. Parents sometimes try too hard to get their kids to smile. I totally get it ― you want that natural, joyful expression, but the pressure often has the opposite effect. When kids sense that pressure, they often end up stiff, overly posed, or trying too hard for that real smile that ends up looking goofy or fake.” ― Gretchen Richardson, manager of photography training and quality at Lifetouch
I never wait until the last minute to choose our outfits.
“One thing I’d never do is wait until the last minute to choose our outfits! Having a client closet of my own in my studio, choosing the clothes and styling the family is really fun for me, and I think it really elevates the pictures. Styling is hard for families and knowing what looks best. A lot of times, kids are in new clothes that are really big on them. Or their outfit is really cute and the shoes are their regular play tennis shoes that do not go well with the outfit.” ― Marcie Reif of Marcie Reif Photography
I never tell my kids to say cheese.
“I get family photos taken once or twice a year, and one thing I do not do is tell my kids to ‘look at the camera and say cheese.’ As a lifestyle photographer, I value capturing real moments, the way my children naturally interact, their authentic expressions, the in-between seconds that say far more than a forced smile ever could. That said, I do still appreciate a good ‘grandma shot’ — that one image where everyone happens to be looking at the camera. Grandparents cherish those, and I’m always glad to have at least one.” ― Anastasia Karnoupakis of Anastasia K. Photography
“I never say the ‘s word’ ― smile. We are trained since infancy to smile on command. I don’t care how good you are at it, when someone says to smile, you are delivering a fake smile, or what I like to call ‘stinky cheese,’ when it’s really obvious. There’s no emotion in that smile, no matter how pretty it may look ... People stay determined to get this perfectly posed photo filled with fake smiles. Go have fun, get the whole family laughing and doing things they enjoy together. Those are the memories that will have you smiling every time you look at a picture. My goal is for you to actually hear the laughter in your head just by looking at the photo.” ― Tammy Karin of Little Leapling Photography
I never do a photo shoot when people are hungry.
“Plain and simple, I don’t want to do anything on an empty stomach. And kids, partners, grandparents, siblings — whatever your family makes up — they all work better with food in their belly. I tell all my parents to feed their kids before they shoot, nothing too heavy, but something to sustain them. Some parents don’t listen, and the shoot is a nightmare because someone is hungry. The parents thought it would be nice if we all went to eat after all dressed up ― which would be nice, but they need a little something before, or else everyone will be miserable after.” ― Mondestin
I never reprimand my kids while taking photos.
“I really, really try to avoid reprimanding my kids for getting the wiggles or losing focus. I know it can be a challenge to keep your cool when you’ve gone through all the trouble of orchestrating a photoshoot only to have someone not participate well. However, warnings and threats are likely to result in stiff, fake smiles at best. Instead, I focus on connecting with my kids and making them laugh. This year, I successfully got genuine smiles from my 10, 8, and 5-year-olds by recounting funny lines and names from Harry Potter. The biggest smiles came when their grandpa unexpectedly started barking like a dog behind the camera to get our puppy’s attention. Acting playful and smiling through the chaos will always result in better photos.” ― Hoagland
I never break eye contact with the camera.
“The one thing that photographers never do in their own family photos is look away from the camera. Because I know how important it is to have a photo where everybody is looking at the camera. We recently had to get photos done for my kids’ b’nai mitzvah, and it was awful! The photographer gave us zero direction. Our portraits were horrible. I think there might’ve been one photo where everybody was looking at the camera.” ― Ahna Tessler of Ahna Tessler Photography
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and style.