Sexless Marriage

Fixing a sexless marriage takes two people willing to put in effort.
Are you and your partner sexually out of sync? You're not alone.
And the tip is "as basic as it is brilliant."
For starters, stop stressing over having an orgasm.
Wanting to have lots of sex with your husband doesn't make a person a nympho. Women crave sex because they crave a connection.
I suggest that you work on a list of ways that you can enhance your life, and goals and values that you have for your life, that don't revolve around your husband. If sex is not on that list, then fine. But if you do want a sex life, and I think you do since you have had an affair due to sexual rejection before this, then your husband is right: you two want different things.
When you're in a sexless marriage, it can feel like the void consumes you.