childless by choice
It's time to stop going round and round with the "who's happier" question when it comes to those with and without kids. It's not one group versus the other. It boils down to how we define happiness in the first place for ourselves.
I recently watched the movie Tootsie with Dustin Hoffman. I actually thought, "Wouldn't it be sweet to have a president who can speak Tootsie-style?" She fearlessly ripped open the curtain to reveal the dysfunction all around her/him. It woke everyone up in a painful, yet positive way.
I fell in love with a boy. And the boy asked me to marry him. And, you guessed it: That boy? He wants kids. To make matters worse, he's the type of guy that you just know will be an amazing father. Well, this really left only one thing for us to do: a test run.
Caroline delves into the social pressures surrounding having children and why they exist.
WHAT'S HAPPENING
The evolution of women's rights has propelled tens of millions of bright and talented women into the workforce over the past several decades -- a very good thing. But there have also been unintended consequences, among them a dramatic surge in the number of women who do not have children, whether by choice or happenstance.
My husband would make the world's greatest father. But that alone isn't reason enough for me to become the mother I've never wanted to be, take on crushing financial burden or add more to my already too-full plate.
I refuse, like Aisha, to carry my childlessness in me like a shameful secret. I want to share my story and help others learn that they aren't alone.
In the last decade, we've seen more out there than ever before about how parenthood is an option, rather than a given in life. But "parenthood optional" advocates go as far back as the '70s.
My breasts are big and full of promise, a promise that my ovaries will never keep. This is the body of a woman who never had children. How is it different from yours?