Funny Tweets
"My boyfriend doesn’t even have to blindfold me in bed, he just has to take my glasses off."
"cats love to snuggle right after a poop"
“Men will tell you HUGE tea and then have absolutely no other information about it. No follow up questions will be answered.”
“I don't know what your dog sees in you”
WHAT'S HAPPENING
“I don’t care what my husband says, technically he is a brother-in-law to my mom’s dog.”
"the first born daughter urge to lie to your parents about what you're doing even when you're a grown adult"
“You might be happy, but you will never be my dog jumping in a pile of leaves happy.”
“Cats don't do daylight savings time. Feed us. Now.”
"parenting: eating the last three cookies because you have four children."
"Let me know if you guys are missing any mugs, they're all on my husband's nightstand"