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How I'm Honouring My Grandmother On Mother's Day

When my grandmother was in her early 70s, her children and grandchildren quickly learned that something wasn't quite right. My grandfather had recently passed away and my grandmother was living alone in her house in Charlottetown. When we went to visit her, we were never sure if she would recognize us.
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Grandmother and granddaughter lying on grass

When my grandmother was in her early 70s, her children and grandchildren quickly learned that something wasn't quite right. My grandfather had recently passed away and my grandmother was living alone in her house in Charlottetown. There were moments where she would forget where she lived, where she had left her car and she would frequently make dinner for herself and my grandfather, not remembering he was gone. When we went to visit her, we were never sure if she would recognize us.

Charlottetown in the 1950s was not a big city. It wasn't difficult for my grandmother, Audrey, to quickly make her mark in the community as the friendly, quick-witted wife of the local shopkeeper, Campbell Mitchell McLean, my grandfather. Audrey was a strong, intelligent woman when she was in her prime. She was always sweet to us grandkids, but wasn't afraid to put us in our place if necessary -- just as any parent should.

Mother's Day is an opportunity to thank our mothers and grandmothers for caring for, nurturing and comforting us when we're in need, and for putting us back in the right direction when we go astray. This Mother's Day, I am taking an additional step to honour Audrey. From May 13th to 15th, I will be competing in the 11th Annual Scotiabank Pro-Am for Alzheimer's in Support of Baycrest. It also just happens to be the largest charity hockey tournament in North America.

Alzheimer's is a devastating disease that can come up quickly and unexpectedly, as was the case with my grandmother.

I try to do something to benefit a charity once each year, so when my friend told me about a hockey tournament that benefits Alzheimer's research and care, I didn't have to think twice before signing up. I played hockey for 20 years when I was younger and absolutely loved it, and got back into it a few years ago.

Staying active and giving back to the community has always been important to me. Events like the Scotiabank Pro-Am for Alzheimer's give participants like myself the opportunity to get out of the house, get on the ice, stay active and support a great cause. Not to mention the chance to play with my childhood hockey hero Wendel Clark and other NHL alumni.

According to the Alzheimer's Society of Canada, in 2011, 14.9 per cent of Canadians ages 65 and older were living with Alzheimer's disease and other dementia and within a generation, the number of Canadians living with the disease will increase to roughly 1.4 million if nothing changes. Alzheimer's is a devastating disease that can come up quickly and unexpectedly, as was the case with my grandmother.

This Mother's Day, let's honour of our grandmothers, let's honour Audrey. Please consider contributing to get us one step closer to a world free from Alzheimer's and dementia. Every little bit helps, click here to donate.

Funds raised through the Scotiabank Pro-Am for Alzheimer's support research, innovation, education and care for Alzheimer's disease at Baycrest Health Sciences in Toronto.

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10 Symptoms For Alzheimer's
Misplacing things(01 of15)
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People with Alzheimer's may put things in unusual places. They may lose things and also accuse others of stealing. This may become more and more frequent. (credit:Cavan Images via Getty Images)
Finding it difficult to complete home tasks(02 of15)
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The Alzheimer's Association says that people who have the illness will find it difficult to complete daily tasks - this could range from cleaning to forgetting the rules of a game played regularly. (credit:Alexandra Grablewski via Getty Images)
Confusion with time or places.(03 of15)
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The Alzheimer's Association says that people who have the condition can lose track of time, dates and seasons.Sufferers may have trouble understanding things if they are not happening promptly. They may also lose track of where they are and how they got there. (credit:mediaphotos via Getty Images)
Problems with speaking or writing(04 of15)
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According to the Alzheimer's Association, people suffering from this type of dementia may find it difficult joining a conversation - they may also stop in the middle of conversations and don't know how to start againWriting coherently can also be a problem. (credit:Nick Dolding via Getty Images)
Finding it hard to read and understand visual images.(05 of15)
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The Alzheimer's Association claim that people may find it hard to read or understand certain images if suffering from the disease. They also may find it difficult to determine colour or contrast, which may stop them from driving. (credit:Rob Lewine via Getty Images)
Solving problems.(06 of15)
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Sufferers may feel changes in their ability to follow a plan or work with numbers. They'll probably have trouble following a basic recipe, or keeping track of monthly bills.They might find it difficult to concentrate and take much longer to do things than they did before.Source: Alzheimer's Association (credit:Martin Barraud via Getty Images)
Withdrawel from social activities.(07 of15)
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Someone with Alzheimer's may remove themselves from certain hobbies/interests and social activities. (credit:Ryan McVay via Getty Images)
Memory Loss(08 of15)
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According to the Alzheimer's Association, one of the most seen symptoms is memory loss (especially recently processed info). For example: forgetting important dates or events; asking for the same information over and over again and needing memory aides( electronic reminders). (credit:Simon Winnall via Getty Images)
Mood changes.(09 of15)
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The mood and personalities of people with Alzheimer's disease can change, they can become confused, suspicious, depressed, fearful or anxious. They may be easily upset at home, at work, with friends or in places where they are out of their comfort zone. Source: Alzheimer's Association (credit:ONOKY - Eric Audras via Getty Images)
Decreased or poor judgment.(10 of15)
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People with Alzheimer's may have poor judgment. This can include confusion over how much money they should spend.They may also pay less attention to grooming, and cleaning themselves regularly.Source: Alzheimer's Association (credit:Martin Moos via Getty Images)
Best not call after dark(11 of15)
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Many people with Alzheimer’s experience sundowning, or increased confusion and anxiety as evening approaches. For the best chance at communicating, call between mid-morning and mid-afternoon, recommends Lori Fleming, cognitive educator at Friends Fellowship Community in Richmond, Ind. “The evenings and early mornings are not good because their minds get wired up throughout the evening and, occasionally, it causes people with sundowners to kind of stay up really late,” says Fleming. (credit:Shutterstock)
But absolutely make the call(12 of15)
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Regular communication is the most crucial and valuable component in keeping the relationship ongoing and strong. During conversations, keep the sentences and dialogue short and simple. Keep the call itself short, too. “Little two-, three- and four-minute phone calls are probably better than 15-minute phone calls,” says Angela Lunde, dementia education specialist at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. (credit:Shutterstock)
Who is this?(13 of15)
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Don’t pressure the loved one with Alzheimer’s to recognize you. Simply say who you are and why you’re calling. You might be tempted to ask the Alzheimer’s sufferer if they know with whom they’re speaking. Don’t. This question can cause discomfort and anxiety. If they don’t make the connection, just continue talking to them. (credit:Shutterstock)
No harm in a little lie(14 of15)
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Family members will often notice that their relative suffering from Alzheimer’s is saying things that obviously aren’t grounded in reality. Don’t correct them. "In Grandpa’s eyes, it’s his life, his story, and that’s his reality in that moment,” explains Lunde. Going along with the incorrect stories isn’t contributing to “Grandpa’s” delusions or supporting his “lies.” In her support groups, Lunde doesn’t use the word “lying;” instead, she and the group members call it “therapeutical fibbing.” (credit:Shutterstock)
Letters are touchable memories(15 of15)
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Long-distance family members shouldn’t overlook snail mail. Loved ones with Alzheimer’s respond extremely well to letters and cards because they can read and look at them every day. “They’re a constant reminder that they have a connection to somebody, and that’s what I think makes it probably even more valuable than a phone call,” says Lunde. (credit:Shutterstock)
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