How To Keep Your Stress In Check This Holiday Season | HuffPost

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At a time of year where we should be feeling lighthearted, jovial and happy, we are feeling guilty, unhappy and stressed. Keeping our cool this holiday season will require many of us to reflect upon the giving season in a way we have never done before.

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Stressed woman shopping for gifts of christmas with red santa hat looking angry and distressed

This time of year can create a mixed bag of emotions for many of us as we look to celebrate the holiday season. We stress over finding the perfect gifts, decorating our homes and finding a moment in our hectic busy lives to embrace the spirit behind the season or the spirit of giving.

Our pockets may feel heavy with lumps of coal weighing us down. We may feel "Bah, humbug" when we think about our obligations to attend upcoming family dinners or co-worker luncheons with friends, family and strangers. For some of us we would rather come down with a temporary case of stomach flu and avoid all social interactions. Ouch!

Part of the challenge is that the holiday season is jam-packed with expectations. And many of us will struggle with the high expectations we set for ourselves for a perfect holiday season. We don't want to disappoint anyone.

Moms in particular feel the stress this time of year. Some of us may be struggling financially or working through a major life event that is making it difficult to find joy during the holiday season instead of embracing our inner Scrooge. And the increasingly commercial nature of the season doesn't help, either. We are bombarded with one sale after the other as retailers seek to get us to part with our hard earned money.

For many, the holiday season takes us back to times in our lives we wish to forget. The glimpse backward may remind us of unhappy times, family strife, or difficult and challenging events. Yet for some of us, the glimpse backwards reminds us of happier times when our lives were simpler and less complicated. We may have fond memories of our childhood because we lived a fairly care-free existence. Some of us may just float through the season with realistic expectations, an open heart and genuine feelings of joy.

Yet as we seek to celebrate the holidays, our enthusiasm and desire to be merry is tempered with real global challenges such as climate change, poverty, displacement and terrorism. We try to make sense of what is going on around us. It makes us feel uncertain, confused and worried. At a time of year where we should be feeling lighthearted, jovial and happy, we are feeling guilty, unhappy and stressed.

Keeping our cool this holiday season will require many of us to reflect upon the giving season in a way we have never done before. Whatever your situation is this holiday season, in the spirit of giving here are five simple tips to help you find more joy and happiness this time of year:

1. Look for the good in others.

We are so quick to judge other people's behaviour, spending patterns, etc. But if we would just take the time to look for the good, because it is there and probably just hiding, we would be less judgmental, more forgiving and understanding of differences.

2. Be kind.

Think and speak kind words. It's easy to think and say unkind things, particularly to people we are not fond of. Shower the unkind with kindness and watch them melt. And, remember the old adage: "If you have nothing good to say... well..."

3. Reframe what's around you.

It's easy to embrace a negative mindset and get caught up in negative rhetoric. Perhaps your bonus is only half of what you expected, or you dread a family get-together at your in-laws. Remember many people don't even receive bonuses, and some have no family at all. Besides are things really that bad? I bet not.

4. Manage your expectations.

The simplest way to increase your joy this time of year is to manage your own expectations and of those around you. The holiday season is a time for giving thanks to what really matters in our lives, and realizing that stuff can be so unimportant, though it gets so much attention.

5. Mind your "Ps" and "Qs."

Most of us don't spend enough time really looking at ourselves objectively. We are quick to react to things we don't like. We must pause and self-reflect. Try not to worry about what other people think. You can't control how people think or what they say but you can control your own thoughts, feelings and corresponding actions. When you see bad behaviour in others (and you will this holiday season), acknowledge it and take heart that it's probably not about you.

As impossible as it may sound, we can stroll through this holiday season with ease and start the new year a better person. Learn to embrace the season of giving with merriment and lightheartedness. Against the backdrop of some really important things that are happening around us, let's look for the good in people, be kind and reframe how we see things.

From my family to you, happy holidays, merry Christmas and happy New Year!

MORE ON HUFFPOST:

Easy Ways To Destress

Laughter(01 of11)

It’s the best medicine, right? A real belly laugh can quickly help you forget more minor stressors and give you a bit of respite from the bigger ones. Subscribe to a funny podcast like WTF with Marc Maron or Friends Like Us, or make a YouTube playlist full of clips of your favourite stand-up comedians. If you have a bit more time, watch a favourite episode of a sitcom or even your favourite funny movie. Before long you’ll be feeling looser and lighter.

Exercise(02 of11)

"It’s been proven time and time again that getting your body moving releases endorphins and can instantly lift your mood,” said Nitika Chopra, a certified life coach and wellness entrepreneur. Exercise helps you relieve stress because it causes a release of mood-boosting endorphins, the Mayo Clinic says, and the effects only increase over the long term. Getting more exercise doesn’t mean that you have to hit a gym. Buddy up with a friend for regular walks or runs together, or join a local rec-league sports team. Even a night out dancing counts!

Stretch(03 of11)

Stretch: It’s hard to remember to get a good stretch into your day, whether it’s around a workout or simply because it feels good. But taking a break to get in a few stretches can be a great stress buster, especially for desk workers — stretching those shoulders out helps to relieve some of the tension we can carry there. This guide by Walking Spree outlines easy stretches you can do in a few minutes at your office, and this one from Beauty High has a great yoga routine you can do at home.

Essential Oils(04 of11)

Chopra admits she wasn’t always sold on the relaxing powers of essential oils, but since incorporating them into her routine over the past year, she’s been wowed by the effects. For example, she uses a bit of lavender oil on her wrists to help her unwind before bed, a time that she said can be the most stressful of the day for her. "I now use that to calm my mind and relax my body to allow me to sleep,” she said. If a boost is what you’re looking for, try citrus or peppermint. But ultimately, the most relaxing scent will be one you enjoy — get a candle with a scent that reminds you of a place you love, for example.

Self Massage(05 of11)

It would be nice to have a personal masseuse, but that’s just a dream for most of us. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the relaxing benefits of massage every day. Self massage can help you loosen your muscles and release tension. Try yoga poses with massaging benefits like these ideas from Shape, gentle shiatsu-based techniques, or a massage ball.

EFT or Tapping(06 of11)

"This technique is often used on people who are experiencing trauma or have deep-seeded emotional blocks” Chopra explained. "When we get stressed out, it’s often because something at our very core is being triggered.” It’s not necessarily about the specific event as much as it’s about the emotions tied to it. "With EFT you actually tap on the meridian points on your body while saying an affirmation,” she said. “This helps you release emotional energy and release stress at the same time.” If that sounds intriguing you can learn more here.

Say No(07 of11)

We all have overloaded lives these days, and that can really amp up our stress levels. But what if we started to simply decline some of the invitations that come our way? You don’t have to attend every event, especially if going actually adds stress to your life instead of enjoyment. And you don’t have to sign up for every committee. In her new book Better Than Before, author Gretchen Rubin suggests considering how you would feel if asked to do a particular task next week; it’s easier to know if we really want to do something if we imagine it happening sometime very soon as opposed to in the distant-seeming future.

Talk To Someone Close(08 of11)

Chopra referred to your “Love Entourage” — "the people in life you love you, lift you up and have your back for real.” When stress is really getting to you, these are the people you want to talk to. "Some times we need to release stress verbally, so when you speak to them, let them know that you need to vent and would love a listening ear,” she suggested. If you can’t meet in person, even a call or a chat session by text can help you unwind and let go.

Listen To Music(09 of11)

: A great song can really transport you in powerful ways. Take advantage of that and load up your phone with your favourite albums, or put together a playlist of songs that make you feel happy — whether it’s because they remind you of a great time in your life or just because you really love them. A string of songs that put a smile on your face can turn your mood around more quickly than you’d suspect.

Pick Up A Pen(10 of11)

Have you heard of the idea of writing a letter to someone you’re upset with, then getting rid of it without sending it? There’s something to that. "Writing out what is stressing you out is just another way to get that stress out of your body and on to paper,” Chopra said. Writing your feelings out can help you make sense of them because you’re forced to articulate them. And just putting it down can help you on your way to letting it go.

Take A Real Break(11 of11)

Sweden has a concept called fika: it’s like a coffee break, but it’s a real break. When it’s time for fika, you leave behind whatever it is you were doing and take a few minutes to truly enjoy your coffee or tea and a snack — sometimes alone, sometimes as a short social break in the day. Doesn’t that sound more relaxing than getting your coffee to go or eating lunch at your desk?

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